Good morning to everyone,
My g-baby is not coming today, sob, I do miss him when he does not come here to play with me. lol He is a handful and busy all the time but he makes me smile and surely gives me a good workout with chasing him and walking with him outside, at the park, etc. And lets not forget the 25 times a day when he says " up, ama" and of course I always pick him up even iff it is only for a few seconds. And he weighs 32 pounds. He is tall for his age, almost as tall as a lot of 4 yr. olds. Dr says he is in the upper percentile with his height and weight.
Sorry for the Grandma talk, sometimes I just can't help myself.
We had two deaths in our church yesterday. And I am the person to call the florists to have flowers delivered to the funeral home. No one knew where one was going to be at. So I call the locall funeral homes and the name was not familiar to them -had to call a familyl member and I did not want to have to do that at their time of mourning, but it had to be done. Finally located the right place, called the florist and set up time and place for flowers to be delivered. Mentally stressed cause it should not be this hard to find which funeral home would have the body and it was not in the obit in the paper.
I am also on the food committee and I will be preparing deviled eggs and green bean casserole, and will have that at the church at 3 this evening and then tonight will be the small gathering at the funeral home, and then a small service in the chapel.
On to happier news, I had been praying for some help with g-baby because his parents are having such a time paying all their bills. Even though g-baby is 26 months old they are still paying hospital bills because of emergency c section and baby had some difficulties and they had to stay in hospital with some surgery issues and on and on. I am so happy that they are both ok now. They had insurance but with a deductable and they are paying monthly on all the extra bills and it is a hardship. And baby needed new clothes and age appropriate books and toys.
Last night someone called me and asked so timidly if I would be insulted if they gave grandbaby some clothes that her son had out grown. Isn't God good? He provides our needs and we are all so blessed.
Not only that but----Dh and I had have been trying to go to another church. Long story and I won't go into it but we had tried before several times and each time I have felt the Lord tell me to go back. Yesterday I had decided that I was going to find another church I just can't keep on being put down by my family that goes there. I had not talked to God about this, I just decided to go. When out of the blue the lady calls me about the clothes, and then she said be sure to be in church Sunday so I can give you the clothes for baby. ---
I really need to talk to God BEFORE I decide to do something because He may have other plans.
Have a good day everyone
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Merry CHRISTmas
When the world thinks of Christmas they think of gifts and parties and drinking and worldly celebration. When Christians think of Christmas we think of gifts too.
We think of John 3:16, "For God so loved the world that he gave His only Begotten Son". What a wonderful gift. We think of the blood that Jesus gave to us so our sins would be washed away. We think of the life that He gave so that we would be able to go to the Father.
All of the material gifts that we have received throughout the years have been lost, or torn, or wornout, or stolen. But the gift that God gave to us endures forever.
My Christmas wish for each of you--May God give to you Joy unspeakable, peace and contentment, and a hunger for the things of God that only God can satisfy.
Merry CHRISTmas to all
We think of John 3:16, "For God so loved the world that he gave His only Begotten Son". What a wonderful gift. We think of the blood that Jesus gave to us so our sins would be washed away. We think of the life that He gave so that we would be able to go to the Father.
All of the material gifts that we have received throughout the years have been lost, or torn, or wornout, or stolen. But the gift that God gave to us endures forever.
My Christmas wish for each of you--May God give to you Joy unspeakable, peace and contentment, and a hunger for the things of God that only God can satisfy.
Merry CHRISTmas to all
Friday, December 21, 2007
Simple "no equiptment" floor exercises
1. BICYCLE ---Lie on a mat with your lower back in a comfortable position. Place your finger tips on either side of your head by your ears. Bring your knees up to about a 45-degree angle. Slowly go through a bicycle pedaling motion, alternating your left elbow to your right knee, then your right elbow to your left knee.
The lower to the ground your legs bicycle, the harder your abs have to work. Perform one to three sets of 12 repetitions.
2. ABDOMINAL VACUUM -- Begin by getting on all fours on the floor (on your hands and knees) and keep your back flat. Start by exhaling all the air from your lungs (and I do mean all the air!). Then, relax your abdomen and let it hang like a loose sling. Next, suck your belly in tight. Continue breathing lightly through your nostrils. Try to hold the contraction for at least 40 seconds. Perform three to four cycles of 40 seconds.
3. CAT STRETCH ---Starting Position:
Start with your hands and knees on a mat. Your hands should be shoulders-width apart and your head, neck, hips and legs should be in a straight line. Do not let your back arch and cave in.
Maintain a slight bend in the elbows.
Movement:
Lower your upper body by bending your elbows outward, stopping before your face touches the floor.
Contracting the chest muscles, slowly return to the starting position.
Key Points:
Inhale while lowering your body.
Exhale while returning to the starting position.
4. TIGHTEN-While in a seated position, simply contract the abdominals for 30 seconds while breathing naturally. Next, tighten your legs for 60 seconds. You can do this for any part of the body. And, yes, it does work. You'll feel your muscles get tighter in just three weeks if you perform this a few times per week.
5. QUADRICEPS STRETCH--Starting Position:
Stand straight near a wall or chair.
Standing tall, bend your right knee. Reach behind you with the right hand and grab onto the foot.
Movement:
Slowly pull your foot toward your buttocks until you feel a stretch in the right quadriceps. Both thighs should be parallel to one another.
Hold for 30 seconds and then return to the starting position.
Repeat this several times and then switch sides.
6. POSTURE STRENGTH--Stand with your feet slightly wider than shoulders width.
Keep your head directly over your shoulders and shoulders over the pelvis (don't lean forward or backward).
Tighten the abdominal muscles.
Tighten and tuck in the Glutes (the butt).
Hold for 10 seconds and keep your breathing natural.
Repeat two additional times.
Then bring the feet in just inside shoulder width and repeat. This helps to improve posture while in various standing positions.
7. COUNTERTOP PUSHOFFS----
Simply stand about three feet from the edge of the countertop, and with your legs slightly spread, plant your heals on the floor. Lean forward and rest the palms of your hands on the edge of the countertop. Perform a set of 20 push-ups, and alter the method in which you do them according to your strength and physical ability. Back up further and go slower for a more challenging workout. You'll burn calories while effectively strengthening your legs as well as your upper body.
8. BACKWARD SITUPS-Lie on the floor with your knees bent and your palms facing downward beneath your buttocks. With your legs together, draw your bent knees toward your upper body. While your knees are perpendicular to your body, straighten your legs. When correctly doing this easy exercise you'll feel your lower abdominal muscles tightening. After a second or two, bend your knees, and slowly bring your feet back down to the floor.
9. STANDING LEG LIFTS-
Leg lifts are easy exercises that help make the legs shapelier while burning calories, and you don't have to lie on the floor. Simply place your right hand on a countertop or wall for balance, and lift your left leg to the side a number of times as well as forwards and backwards. Perform a set of 10 leg lifts in each direction before turning around and changing sides.
If a simple workout with basic leg lifts isn't strenuous enough, make the workout a little more difficult by holding your leg out for several seconds and moving slower. Your muscles will have to work a little harder as a result, and even though you won't be moving as quickly, you'll effectively burn calories and greatly hasten your weight-loss efforts.
10. FOOTBALL 1-2-3- TOE TOUCHES-
Starting position, hands on hips, legs shoulder width apart-soft knee---
Bend at waist touch hands to floor in front of feet, bounce and bring hands to inside of feet and bounce gently and touch floor at heel.
11. DUMMY STRETCHES-starting position, sit on floor with legs wide apart, Bed and touch right foot bounce gently 10 times return to starting position, then bend and stretch toward center, bounce gently 10 times and then repeat toward left foot --repeat entire exercise once.
12. BENT KNEE LEG LIFTS Starting position Lie on side with upper body supported with arm. bring leg forward and lift 10 times bring leg to center and lift leg 10 times and move leg to the back and lift 10 times. Turn to other side and repeat entire sequence.
13. FIRE HYDRANT- starting position- On hands and knees, lift bent leg to the side 10 times repeat on other leg.
14. CAT STRETCH-starting position-stand feet shoulder width apart, soft knee, hands on knees, round back and suck tummy in. Hold for 15 seconds and relax, repeat 10 times.
15. WAIST TWIST. Stand- feet shoulder width apart- arms out and elbows bent with fingertips pointed toward ceiling. twist to one side, return to middle and pause and then twist to other side, repeat for total of 20 times-10 for each side.
16-CRUNCHES-starting position on back with hands on floor-knees bent. Come up using stomach muscles to pull upper body about 3 or 4 inches off of floor. repeat 10 times.
The lower to the ground your legs bicycle, the harder your abs have to work. Perform one to three sets of 12 repetitions.
2. ABDOMINAL VACUUM -- Begin by getting on all fours on the floor (on your hands and knees) and keep your back flat. Start by exhaling all the air from your lungs (and I do mean all the air!). Then, relax your abdomen and let it hang like a loose sling. Next, suck your belly in tight. Continue breathing lightly through your nostrils. Try to hold the contraction for at least 40 seconds. Perform three to four cycles of 40 seconds.
3. CAT STRETCH ---Starting Position:
Start with your hands and knees on a mat. Your hands should be shoulders-width apart and your head, neck, hips and legs should be in a straight line. Do not let your back arch and cave in.
Maintain a slight bend in the elbows.
Movement:
Lower your upper body by bending your elbows outward, stopping before your face touches the floor.
Contracting the chest muscles, slowly return to the starting position.
Key Points:
Inhale while lowering your body.
Exhale while returning to the starting position.
4. TIGHTEN-While in a seated position, simply contract the abdominals for 30 seconds while breathing naturally. Next, tighten your legs for 60 seconds. You can do this for any part of the body. And, yes, it does work. You'll feel your muscles get tighter in just three weeks if you perform this a few times per week.
5. QUADRICEPS STRETCH--Starting Position:
Stand straight near a wall or chair.
Standing tall, bend your right knee. Reach behind you with the right hand and grab onto the foot.
Movement:
Slowly pull your foot toward your buttocks until you feel a stretch in the right quadriceps. Both thighs should be parallel to one another.
Hold for 30 seconds and then return to the starting position.
Repeat this several times and then switch sides.
6. POSTURE STRENGTH--Stand with your feet slightly wider than shoulders width.
Keep your head directly over your shoulders and shoulders over the pelvis (don't lean forward or backward).
Tighten the abdominal muscles.
Tighten and tuck in the Glutes (the butt).
Hold for 10 seconds and keep your breathing natural.
Repeat two additional times.
Then bring the feet in just inside shoulder width and repeat. This helps to improve posture while in various standing positions.
7. COUNTERTOP PUSHOFFS----
Simply stand about three feet from the edge of the countertop, and with your legs slightly spread, plant your heals on the floor. Lean forward and rest the palms of your hands on the edge of the countertop. Perform a set of 20 push-ups, and alter the method in which you do them according to your strength and physical ability. Back up further and go slower for a more challenging workout. You'll burn calories while effectively strengthening your legs as well as your upper body.
8. BACKWARD SITUPS-Lie on the floor with your knees bent and your palms facing downward beneath your buttocks. With your legs together, draw your bent knees toward your upper body. While your knees are perpendicular to your body, straighten your legs. When correctly doing this easy exercise you'll feel your lower abdominal muscles tightening. After a second or two, bend your knees, and slowly bring your feet back down to the floor.
9. STANDING LEG LIFTS-
Leg lifts are easy exercises that help make the legs shapelier while burning calories, and you don't have to lie on the floor. Simply place your right hand on a countertop or wall for balance, and lift your left leg to the side a number of times as well as forwards and backwards. Perform a set of 10 leg lifts in each direction before turning around and changing sides.
If a simple workout with basic leg lifts isn't strenuous enough, make the workout a little more difficult by holding your leg out for several seconds and moving slower. Your muscles will have to work a little harder as a result, and even though you won't be moving as quickly, you'll effectively burn calories and greatly hasten your weight-loss efforts.
10. FOOTBALL 1-2-3- TOE TOUCHES-
Starting position, hands on hips, legs shoulder width apart-soft knee---
Bend at waist touch hands to floor in front of feet, bounce and bring hands to inside of feet and bounce gently and touch floor at heel.
11. DUMMY STRETCHES-starting position, sit on floor with legs wide apart, Bed and touch right foot bounce gently 10 times return to starting position, then bend and stretch toward center, bounce gently 10 times and then repeat toward left foot --repeat entire exercise once.
12. BENT KNEE LEG LIFTS Starting position Lie on side with upper body supported with arm. bring leg forward and lift 10 times bring leg to center and lift leg 10 times and move leg to the back and lift 10 times. Turn to other side and repeat entire sequence.
13. FIRE HYDRANT- starting position- On hands and knees, lift bent leg to the side 10 times repeat on other leg.
14. CAT STRETCH-starting position-stand feet shoulder width apart, soft knee, hands on knees, round back and suck tummy in. Hold for 15 seconds and relax, repeat 10 times.
15. WAIST TWIST. Stand- feet shoulder width apart- arms out and elbows bent with fingertips pointed toward ceiling. twist to one side, return to middle and pause and then twist to other side, repeat for total of 20 times-10 for each side.
16-CRUNCHES-starting position on back with hands on floor-knees bent. Come up using stomach muscles to pull upper body about 3 or 4 inches off of floor. repeat 10 times.
Monday, December 17, 2007
forgiveness
How do you know if you have forgiven someone?
AndIf you forgive them does that mean you act as if nothing ever happened?I mean if someone shot your dog out of meanness, you might forgive them but would you ever trust them around your dog again? If not does that mean you have not forgiven them?
Suppose you think you have forgiven but you really have not, how would youknow?
Does forgiveness mean you have to associate and be friends with someone that has a personality that just irritates you?I know these are very childish questions but I really need some answers.
I talked to my former pastors wife and well pretty much cried on her shoulder and asked her all I could about forgiveness.
What she told me was that concerning my parents-they really were not good people. And it is self protecting to not allow them in to my life in a parent child relationship. My mom has always been harsh and just daily put me down calling me ugly and stupid. I give her the respect of my mom but I have no desire to have a relationship with her.
She said forgiveness is pretty much not holding a grudge against the person but I have children and grandshildren to protect from her. So I keep them away to protect them. That does not mean I have not forgiven her.
I really am a Christian, as long as I desire to be one. I am the only one that can say that I am not a Christian and have it be the truth.
my Lord is real and He lives and adore Him.
Good night.
AndIf you forgive them does that mean you act as if nothing ever happened?I mean if someone shot your dog out of meanness, you might forgive them but would you ever trust them around your dog again? If not does that mean you have not forgiven them?
Suppose you think you have forgiven but you really have not, how would youknow?
Does forgiveness mean you have to associate and be friends with someone that has a personality that just irritates you?I know these are very childish questions but I really need some answers.
I talked to my former pastors wife and well pretty much cried on her shoulder and asked her all I could about forgiveness.
What she told me was that concerning my parents-they really were not good people. And it is self protecting to not allow them in to my life in a parent child relationship. My mom has always been harsh and just daily put me down calling me ugly and stupid. I give her the respect of my mom but I have no desire to have a relationship with her.
She said forgiveness is pretty much not holding a grudge against the person but I have children and grandshildren to protect from her. So I keep them away to protect them. That does not mean I have not forgiven her.
I really am a Christian, as long as I desire to be one. I am the only one that can say that I am not a Christian and have it be the truth.
my Lord is real and He lives and adore Him.
Good night.
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Sunday morning coming down
Good Sunday Morning
It has been a few days since I posted here,
I can't remember when the last time I wrote, but I will start with Fri. night.As i mentioned before I am president of the Golden Harvestors. I love it, even though I feel that I am a young Christian Iwas voted in by the majority of the people and I really think it was because I am one of the youngest in the group. It has been such a learning experience for me, I have learned leadership abilities and I have been taught how to pray one for another and how mourn while praising God when a death occurs. I have learned patience, and I have learned that prayer is essential no matter how minor the job I try to do. Fri.
Night we had our Christmas dinner at a local restaurant. We had a wonderful time and I had a short devotional written about John 3:16 and about the gift that endures. I had the speech outline written and stuck in my pocket and when I stood up, I gave a short speech thanking everyone for ocming and I thanked my treasurer and my vice-president and presented them with a small gift. and I reached my hand in my pocket and the speech was gone and my mind went blank. --short silent prayer later I remembered most of it. but it sure was a tense moment for me.My vice president "Patty" had written a poem about Christmas of her childhood. It was so beauteful.
I had a wonderful time and I had envited a pastor and his wife from another church and someone asked them to come and sing for us at our next meeting. They agreed and so I have next month's meeting already planned out.]
Last night I went to a local church that was having a singing, it was raining a cold here and not many people showed up. That was such a sweet time.
This morning I can't go to Sunday School because grandson has a cold. I am going to preaching. I just do not feel comfortable taking grandson to interact with other children when he is sick. For preaching i will hold him and he will not be in contact with anyone but me and dh. Last night baby fell and busted his lip, when my daughter called me and told me about it I pictured a mouth swollen and deformed and teeth slanted. She is a first time mama and I am sure in her "mama's eyes" it was worse than it actually was. Bless her heart you could barely tell anything had happened at all. Just a little bruise on his upper lip.
Tonight a dear friend of mine his name is Jim Bunch is going to be singing at a local church and he asked dh and I to go hear him. I am not one to skip my church if I can help it but I am going to hear him. He is a wonderful singer and a wonderful man of God and I thank God for him.
Have a wonderful Sunday.
If you actually read all of this I give you a big thank you hug. lol
It has been a few days since I posted here,
I can't remember when the last time I wrote, but I will start with Fri. night.As i mentioned before I am president of the Golden Harvestors. I love it, even though I feel that I am a young Christian Iwas voted in by the majority of the people and I really think it was because I am one of the youngest in the group. It has been such a learning experience for me, I have learned leadership abilities and I have been taught how to pray one for another and how mourn while praising God when a death occurs. I have learned patience, and I have learned that prayer is essential no matter how minor the job I try to do. Fri.
Night we had our Christmas dinner at a local restaurant. We had a wonderful time and I had a short devotional written about John 3:16 and about the gift that endures. I had the speech outline written and stuck in my pocket and when I stood up, I gave a short speech thanking everyone for ocming and I thanked my treasurer and my vice-president and presented them with a small gift. and I reached my hand in my pocket and the speech was gone and my mind went blank. --short silent prayer later I remembered most of it. but it sure was a tense moment for me.My vice president "Patty" had written a poem about Christmas of her childhood. It was so beauteful.
I had a wonderful time and I had envited a pastor and his wife from another church and someone asked them to come and sing for us at our next meeting. They agreed and so I have next month's meeting already planned out.]
Last night I went to a local church that was having a singing, it was raining a cold here and not many people showed up. That was such a sweet time.
This morning I can't go to Sunday School because grandson has a cold. I am going to preaching. I just do not feel comfortable taking grandson to interact with other children when he is sick. For preaching i will hold him and he will not be in contact with anyone but me and dh. Last night baby fell and busted his lip, when my daughter called me and told me about it I pictured a mouth swollen and deformed and teeth slanted. She is a first time mama and I am sure in her "mama's eyes" it was worse than it actually was. Bless her heart you could barely tell anything had happened at all. Just a little bruise on his upper lip.
Tonight a dear friend of mine his name is Jim Bunch is going to be singing at a local church and he asked dh and I to go hear him. I am not one to skip my church if I can help it but I am going to hear him. He is a wonderful singer and a wonderful man of God and I thank God for him.
Have a wonderful Sunday.
If you actually read all of this I give you a big thank you hug. lol
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Christians are berated for our beliefs
Subject: FW: letter to ABC
Letter to ABC
Jim Neugent is a coach in Childress , Texas . Jim writes: My name is Jim Neugent. I wrote to ABC (on-line) concerning a program called "THE PRACTICE." In last nights episode, one of the lawyer's mothers decided she is gay and wanted her son to go to court and help her get a marriage license so she could marry her 'partner..' I sent the following letter to ABC yesterday and really did not expect a reply, but I did get one.My original message was: ABC is obsessed with the subject of homosexuality. I will no longer watch any of your attempts to convince the world that homosexuality is OK. ' THE PRACTICE' can be a fairly good show, but last night's program was so typical of your agenda. You picked the 'dufus' of the office to be the one who was against the idea of his mother being gay, and made him look like a whiner because he had convictions. This type of mentality calls people like me a "gay basher." Read the first chapter of Romans (that's in the Bible) and see what the apostle Paul had to say about it... He, God and Jesus were all 'gay bashers'. What if she'd fallen in love with her cocker spaniel? Is that an alternative life style? (By the way, the Bible speaks against that, too)--Jim Neugent - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Here is ABC's reply from the ABC on-line webmaster: How about getting your nose out of the Bible (which is ONLY a book of stories compiled by MANY different writers hundreds of years ago) and read the declaration of independence (what our nation is built on), where it says "All Men are Created equal," and try treating them that way for a change! Or better yet, try thinking for yourself and stop using an archaic book of stories as your lame crutch for your existence. You are in the minority in this country, and your boycott will not affect us at ABC or our freedom of statement. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Jim Neugent's second response ! to ABC:Thanks for your reply. From your harsh reply, evidently I hit a nerve. I will share it with all with whom I come in contact. Hopefully, the Arkansas Democrat Newspaper will include it in one of their columns and I will be praying for you. - -Jim Neugent - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Note: Wouldn't Satan just love it if people stopped using the Biblefor a crutch? Please resend this to everyone in your mailbox.-- Thanks, Jim NeugentI wonder if the person from ABC considered how many people would read this e-mail!
Letter to ABC
Jim Neugent is a coach in Childress , Texas . Jim writes: My name is Jim Neugent. I wrote to ABC (on-line) concerning a program called "THE PRACTICE." In last nights episode, one of the lawyer's mothers decided she is gay and wanted her son to go to court and help her get a marriage license so she could marry her 'partner..' I sent the following letter to ABC yesterday and really did not expect a reply, but I did get one.My original message was: ABC is obsessed with the subject of homosexuality. I will no longer watch any of your attempts to convince the world that homosexuality is OK. ' THE PRACTICE' can be a fairly good show, but last night's program was so typical of your agenda. You picked the 'dufus' of the office to be the one who was against the idea of his mother being gay, and made him look like a whiner because he had convictions. This type of mentality calls people like me a "gay basher." Read the first chapter of Romans (that's in the Bible) and see what the apostle Paul had to say about it... He, God and Jesus were all 'gay bashers'. What if she'd fallen in love with her cocker spaniel? Is that an alternative life style? (By the way, the Bible speaks against that, too)--Jim Neugent - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Here is ABC's reply from the ABC on-line webmaster: How about getting your nose out of the Bible (which is ONLY a book of stories compiled by MANY different writers hundreds of years ago) and read the declaration of independence (what our nation is built on), where it says "All Men are Created equal," and try treating them that way for a change! Or better yet, try thinking for yourself and stop using an archaic book of stories as your lame crutch for your existence. You are in the minority in this country, and your boycott will not affect us at ABC or our freedom of statement. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Jim Neugent's second response ! to ABC:Thanks for your reply. From your harsh reply, evidently I hit a nerve. I will share it with all with whom I come in contact. Hopefully, the Arkansas Democrat Newspaper will include it in one of their columns and I will be praying for you. - -Jim Neugent - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Note: Wouldn't Satan just love it if people stopped using the Biblefor a crutch? Please resend this to everyone in your mailbox.-- Thanks, Jim NeugentI wonder if the person from ABC considered how many people would read this e-mail!
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
My days are getting better
I have turned the corner on the emotions that tormented me since the funeral. I have had so many people praying for me and lifting me up with phone calls .
Our womens ministries had a Christmas party last night and I had not planned to go. It was not paid for by the group so we each had to pay for our own meal.. My husband is in the construction business and winter is always hard for us. BUT someone in the group paid for my meal, the president came to me two weeks ago and told me that it had been paid for. I really wanted to go, and God made a way. We had a wonderful time last night and the food was delicious, and the fellowship was the best part.
Friday night we will be having a Golden Harvestors Christmas party. I am president and I got it all arranged so that we would have a private room with no extra charge and everything is paid for by money we have made through chicken dinners and cake sales. I have two gifts bought for my secretary and the vice president. And i have a very short and simple devotional written about how the shepards left what they were doing and went to see the Christ child and they left worshipping and talking about what they had seen and how we are supposed to be thankful for the gifts that God gives us daily .
My grandbaby came to play with me today. He is cutting his 2 yr. molars and he is a little cranky. It is so nice to have him here even when he is not feeling good.
We go to church tonight and I am so looking forward to being in God's house. I get such strength just from being able to sit with my church family and lift our hands togeather as we praise Him.
I hope everyone has a wonderful day
Our womens ministries had a Christmas party last night and I had not planned to go. It was not paid for by the group so we each had to pay for our own meal.. My husband is in the construction business and winter is always hard for us. BUT someone in the group paid for my meal, the president came to me two weeks ago and told me that it had been paid for. I really wanted to go, and God made a way. We had a wonderful time last night and the food was delicious, and the fellowship was the best part.
Friday night we will be having a Golden Harvestors Christmas party. I am president and I got it all arranged so that we would have a private room with no extra charge and everything is paid for by money we have made through chicken dinners and cake sales. I have two gifts bought for my secretary and the vice president. And i have a very short and simple devotional written about how the shepards left what they were doing and went to see the Christ child and they left worshipping and talking about what they had seen and how we are supposed to be thankful for the gifts that God gives us daily .
My grandbaby came to play with me today. He is cutting his 2 yr. molars and he is a little cranky. It is so nice to have him here even when he is not feeling good.
We go to church tonight and I am so looking forward to being in God's house. I get such strength just from being able to sit with my church family and lift our hands togeather as we praise Him.
I hope everyone has a wonderful day
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
The Lord defeats anger
I think that the Lord has shown me a great deal in the last few days. I realized I was angry at dad. I was so angry because he never cared.
He never wanted to be my father. And I was frightened -I was worried that perhaps I had acted in a way the if I died my family would not care. They would not be able to grieve because they would feel that there was no reason to grieve.
And I was angry with the preacher for going on and on about how he had been a Christian for 50 years and I wanted to throw up. he had not been a Christian and the way he was was one of the reasons that I became an athiest.
I called them and asked them to forgive me if I had done anything that would keep them from feeling sorrow when I died. That sounds so selfish, but really all you are when you die is the memories that you leave behind. I want my children to have many happy memories. The memories of my dad is bruised flesh, torn skin, hateful words. I had nightmares that just woke me screaming and crying for years.
The Lord took those from me, Praise God. The memories will fade.
I turn it all over to my God His hands only hold me close, His hands are not raised to hit and hurt. His hands are gentle and full of love.
So to ayone that is reading this. If you have done anything to anyone and you have a chance to make amends you really should do it. Especially to your family because you do not want their memories of you to bring them pain.
He never wanted to be my father. And I was frightened -I was worried that perhaps I had acted in a way the if I died my family would not care. They would not be able to grieve because they would feel that there was no reason to grieve.
And I was angry with the preacher for going on and on about how he had been a Christian for 50 years and I wanted to throw up. he had not been a Christian and the way he was was one of the reasons that I became an athiest.
I called them and asked them to forgive me if I had done anything that would keep them from feeling sorrow when I died. That sounds so selfish, but really all you are when you die is the memories that you leave behind. I want my children to have many happy memories. The memories of my dad is bruised flesh, torn skin, hateful words. I had nightmares that just woke me screaming and crying for years.
The Lord took those from me, Praise God. The memories will fade.
I turn it all over to my God His hands only hold me close, His hands are not raised to hit and hurt. His hands are gentle and full of love.
So to ayone that is reading this. If you have done anything to anyone and you have a chance to make amends you really should do it. Especially to your family because you do not want their memories of you to bring them pain.
Sunday, December 9, 2007
I am angry
I am angry at my dad for never telling me he was sorry for abusing me. I am so upset that he had the opportunity to speak to me about how he treated me and he never did. He turned his heart over to God and he died without telling me he was sorry. He had the chance time after time, he talked withme about the weather and church and sermans and preacher and his children and grandchildren and he never once said he was sorry he never once/
]
I know I forgave him, I k now in my heart I did I forgave him and mom for hating me and hitting me and yelling and tearing my flesh and my heart, I forgave him for sexually using me BUT klstill it would have been a healing thing for me for him to say he was sorry. And I have to go forever wondering if he was sorry for the tears I cried and the bruises he and mom put on my body.
HE IS DEAD
no grief. no sorrow. Have I acted in such a way as to have my dh and my children not care if I die. I must speak with my children-----I must make sure I ask them to forgive me for anything I might have said or done to them. Please Lord give me enough time left here on earth that I might ask their forgiveness.
]
I know I forgave him, I k now in my heart I did I forgave him and mom for hating me and hitting me and yelling and tearing my flesh and my heart, I forgave him for sexually using me BUT klstill it would have been a healing thing for me for him to say he was sorry. And I have to go forever wondering if he was sorry for the tears I cried and the bruises he and mom put on my body.
HE IS DEAD
no grief. no sorrow. Have I acted in such a way as to have my dh and my children not care if I die. I must speak with my children-----I must make sure I ask them to forgive me for anything I might have said or done to them. Please Lord give me enough time left here on earth that I might ask their forgiveness.
Thursday, December 6, 2007
My dad died
My dad passed away this morning at 9:45. I have made lots of phone calls and I have tried to sort out my feelings and here is as good a place as any for me to throw it all in out and try to make it all come togeather in my mind.
No he was not a good man. Jesus died for him as well as for me. He did accept Jesus as his savior several years ago and I am glad. I called him last night and told him that I loved him. I am glad I made the phone call, I am glad he did not die wondering if I still hated him like I used to. I don't hate him nowand I thank God that He gave to me a love for dad. Not the love that most fathers have from their children but the best I could do under the circumstances.
I feel numb inside. Not like I hurt for his passing, certainly not joyful. But he did say he was ready to meet the Lord.
Jumbled feelings, one person that I called this morning told me to keep thinking about the good times. I did not tell her but in my memories there simply is not that many good memories. There is a lot of horrible memories, or skin being torn by belt buckles and the most horrible things he made me do, and the yelling and name calling and chasing my blother with a tobacco stick, and pulling a branch out of a tree and hitting my sister with it. Memories of me standing between him and mom when I was 21 yr. old and he was a bout to hit her with a tire iron, and she had a bat about to hit him with it. Memories of me having ulcers when I was 18 and the dr. asking about my home life and him telling me that stress causes ulcers and me knowing that I had that pain for years.
I don't know how I am supposed to feel. Should I feel forrow, is something wrong with me because I don't, I am not feeling joy that he is dead. I don't want to seem heartless. I am a very confused person I wish I could just sleep until it all goes away.
No he was not a good man. Jesus died for him as well as for me. He did accept Jesus as his savior several years ago and I am glad. I called him last night and told him that I loved him. I am glad I made the phone call, I am glad he did not die wondering if I still hated him like I used to. I don't hate him nowand I thank God that He gave to me a love for dad. Not the love that most fathers have from their children but the best I could do under the circumstances.
I feel numb inside. Not like I hurt for his passing, certainly not joyful. But he did say he was ready to meet the Lord.
Jumbled feelings, one person that I called this morning told me to keep thinking about the good times. I did not tell her but in my memories there simply is not that many good memories. There is a lot of horrible memories, or skin being torn by belt buckles and the most horrible things he made me do, and the yelling and name calling and chasing my blother with a tobacco stick, and pulling a branch out of a tree and hitting my sister with it. Memories of me standing between him and mom when I was 21 yr. old and he was a bout to hit her with a tire iron, and she had a bat about to hit him with it. Memories of me having ulcers when I was 18 and the dr. asking about my home life and him telling me that stress causes ulcers and me knowing that I had that pain for years.
I don't know how I am supposed to feel. Should I feel forrow, is something wrong with me because I don't, I am not feeling joy that he is dead. I don't want to seem heartless. I am a very confused person I wish I could just sleep until it all goes away.
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
My dad is dying
6:30 AM
I have been awake since 5:30 just snuggled in the bed praying and thinking.
This is really a "thoughts flying through my head at lightening speed" post and some sad, and some please pray for my family post.
My dad is 88 yrs. old. He was a mean and brutal person. The scars that I carry inside is much much worse than any scars that would be visible. From the time of my childhood he went to church and taught Sunday School. Because of the way he was is one reason I became an athiest. I felt that no one that mean would be allowed to live if there really was a God.
When I got saved through Gods love I was able to forgive him. And I told him that I forgave him. But I do not have any father-daughter fieeling toward him. I love him with the love that God showed me.
My dad is in the VA hospital and he is dying. I feel no sorrow in my heart. That bothers me. I don't want him to suffer I pray God would ease him out of this world gently, but as the idea that my FATHER is dying I have no sorrow.
Is something wrong withme? He never cared about me at all , he was never a real daddy to me. He threw me and how I felt away. I do not feel revengeful nor do I feel hatred. It is almost like I am numb to it all. EXCEPT I am worried that there is something wrong with me because I do not feel anything at all.
God bless
I have been awake since 5:30 just snuggled in the bed praying and thinking.
This is really a "thoughts flying through my head at lightening speed" post and some sad, and some please pray for my family post.
My dad is 88 yrs. old. He was a mean and brutal person. The scars that I carry inside is much much worse than any scars that would be visible. From the time of my childhood he went to church and taught Sunday School. Because of the way he was is one reason I became an athiest. I felt that no one that mean would be allowed to live if there really was a God.
When I got saved through Gods love I was able to forgive him. And I told him that I forgave him. But I do not have any father-daughter fieeling toward him. I love him with the love that God showed me.
My dad is in the VA hospital and he is dying. I feel no sorrow in my heart. That bothers me. I don't want him to suffer I pray God would ease him out of this world gently, but as the idea that my FATHER is dying I have no sorrow.
Is something wrong withme? He never cared about me at all , he was never a real daddy to me. He threw me and how I felt away. I do not feel revengeful nor do I feel hatred. It is almost like I am numb to it all. EXCEPT I am worried that there is something wrong with me because I do not feel anything at all.
God bless
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Thoughts from a diet failure, or * i am such a loser at losing*
Good morning- Today, **** I usually babysit my 2 yr. old on Tuesday,but son in law did not have to work today, so baby is not coming to play with me. I apprecate everyones prayers for me.
I still am having some problems but I am much better and after 4 days of not exercising, I have determined that I will do something today even if it is only 15 or 20 minutes.
I started the study on my SS lesson it is taken from Genesis, 22nd chapter, and my personal reading is in Daniel 8th chapter.
It is time for me to start moving things around and getting decorations out and up. This is a very nostalgic time for me. I always made a big deal about decorating with my children when they were small. We would make cookies and then eat them while we decorated.
I need to start planning what I am going to serve on the 23rd. It is our anniversary and we will renew our vows and have a small reception afterward.I am not panning a big deal type thing just some finger food and cake and coffee and soda.
Now about the diet failure. I started having problems with diverticulitus on Friday and I hurt so bad I could not straighten up when I stood up. I had to modify how I ate and eat foods that would not irritate the part of my digestive tract. Lots of oatmeal and soft foods. Needless to ssay I did not eat foods that were diet friendly and I did not exercise. FROM FRIDAY MORNING TO THIS MORNING I GAINED 5 POUNDS!!!!!!!!!!!!
i AM SO HOPING THAT IT IS JUST BULK FROM THE DIFFERENT WAY OF EATING - SEE BEfore I got sick ( sorry about all the caps, some of them was diliberate but the rest was oopsi) I was eating low carb which probably was part of the problem about the diverticulitus. And then when tummy started hurting I had to change the way I was eating and I have heard that when you go from low carb to regular eating you will gain some weight.
Anyway I think I will stay away from the low carb diet. All that meat and eggs and such a little bit of vegetables and fruits probably added to my problem. BAck to eating veggies and fuits. If I do not lose a pile of weight then at least I will be healthy and I feel better when I eat veggies and fruit.
Ok I've prattled enough.
Have a good day everyone
Thanks
love you all
God bless
I still am having some problems but I am much better and after 4 days of not exercising, I have determined that I will do something today even if it is only 15 or 20 minutes.
I started the study on my SS lesson it is taken from Genesis, 22nd chapter, and my personal reading is in Daniel 8th chapter.
It is time for me to start moving things around and getting decorations out and up. This is a very nostalgic time for me. I always made a big deal about decorating with my children when they were small. We would make cookies and then eat them while we decorated.
I need to start planning what I am going to serve on the 23rd. It is our anniversary and we will renew our vows and have a small reception afterward.I am not panning a big deal type thing just some finger food and cake and coffee and soda.
Now about the diet failure. I started having problems with diverticulitus on Friday and I hurt so bad I could not straighten up when I stood up. I had to modify how I ate and eat foods that would not irritate the part of my digestive tract. Lots of oatmeal and soft foods. Needless to ssay I did not eat foods that were diet friendly and I did not exercise. FROM FRIDAY MORNING TO THIS MORNING I GAINED 5 POUNDS!!!!!!!!!!!!
i AM SO HOPING THAT IT IS JUST BULK FROM THE DIFFERENT WAY OF EATING - SEE BEfore I got sick ( sorry about all the caps, some of them was diliberate but the rest was oopsi) I was eating low carb which probably was part of the problem about the diverticulitus. And then when tummy started hurting I had to change the way I was eating and I have heard that when you go from low carb to regular eating you will gain some weight.
Anyway I think I will stay away from the low carb diet. All that meat and eggs and such a little bit of vegetables and fruits probably added to my problem. BAck to eating veggies and fuits. If I do not lose a pile of weight then at least I will be healthy and I feel better when I eat veggies and fruit.
Ok I've prattled enough.
Have a good day everyone
Thanks
love you all
God bless
Friday, November 30, 2007
What a beautiful day this has been
I woke up about 5:30 this morning and my mind was praising God. Isn't that a beautiful way to wake up?
Then G-son came and even though he was cranky to begin with, I feel sure it was because he had to get up and out so early . Any way he quickly got in a better mood and kept asking me "what tomytain-tt wit mot" The words he is trying to say is Watch Thomas the train on tv with the remote. I use the remote and access Kids on demand and there is dozens and dozens of childrens shows on there.
I ate so very good today, probably more calories than I should have BUT I did look up how much calories I need to take in to lose weight for my height, weight, age and how active I am and according to 2 or 3 sites I went to, I can eat 2000 calories or less and I will lose weight. We will see. I have tried so many different ways to lose weight and nothing seems to work. I have no problem trying something else. At least my body won't go into starvation mode.
Our little town is having a community get togeather tomorrow night. We have live singers and a band and fireworks and food. I have gone for the past 3 years and I have really enjoyed it. DD and G-son will be coming here to enjoin the "party" with me and dh. I am looking forward to it.
I went and exercised walked for 40 minutes today. I kinda got out of the habit of exericsing daily. Tomorrow is December 1 and I am going to challenge myself to exercise for Dec. at least 1200 minutes. I do like the way I feel when I exercise, and I feel that I am doing something just for me, which encourages me to try harder to resist the high calorie foods.
My calories for today was 1735, exercise was walking almost 2 miles, and that took me almost 40 minutes.
God has been wonderful to dh and i this past year. We have had so many opportunities to visit other churches and to hear so many preachers. I thank my Lord for giving to me a hungry heart.
Sleep well everyone
Then G-son came and even though he was cranky to begin with, I feel sure it was because he had to get up and out so early . Any way he quickly got in a better mood and kept asking me "what tomytain-tt wit mot" The words he is trying to say is Watch Thomas the train on tv with the remote. I use the remote and access Kids on demand and there is dozens and dozens of childrens shows on there.
I ate so very good today, probably more calories than I should have BUT I did look up how much calories I need to take in to lose weight for my height, weight, age and how active I am and according to 2 or 3 sites I went to, I can eat 2000 calories or less and I will lose weight. We will see. I have tried so many different ways to lose weight and nothing seems to work. I have no problem trying something else. At least my body won't go into starvation mode.
Our little town is having a community get togeather tomorrow night. We have live singers and a band and fireworks and food. I have gone for the past 3 years and I have really enjoyed it. DD and G-son will be coming here to enjoin the "party" with me and dh. I am looking forward to it.
I went and exercised walked for 40 minutes today. I kinda got out of the habit of exericsing daily. Tomorrow is December 1 and I am going to challenge myself to exercise for Dec. at least 1200 minutes. I do like the way I feel when I exercise, and I feel that I am doing something just for me, which encourages me to try harder to resist the high calorie foods.
My calories for today was 1735, exercise was walking almost 2 miles, and that took me almost 40 minutes.
God has been wonderful to dh and i this past year. We have had so many opportunities to visit other churches and to hear so many preachers. I thank my Lord for giving to me a hungry heart.
Sleep well everyone
Thursday, November 29, 2007
New day, more weight, new resolve
It seems like I have been here a few times before.
UPDATE
I was on a low calorie high exercise diet and I was not losing---so I started doing a low carb diet and I was sticking to it -less than 20 carbs a day- and was gaining weight. So today I read an article that people that eat a high protein diet get cancer more than people that eat a lot of fruits and vegetables so it is back to a low calorie diet. I do love a lot of fruits and vegetable and even if I do not lose weight at least I will be more healthy.
That is my life diet and gain change diets and gain lol it is sorta funny/
My dad is in the veterans hospital. He is 88 yrs old and I know that he is failing. I feel no real sorrow over him being sick. He gave up his right to have a daughters love the first time he molested me. I love him only because God lives in my heart. I would like to know why he thought it was ok for him to do the things he did. I am sure I will never get an answer.
Soon he will be moved to a nusing home cause he has to be on a breathing machine. Am I supposed to fake a love that I do not feel?
Sleep well
UPDATE
I was on a low calorie high exercise diet and I was not losing---so I started doing a low carb diet and I was sticking to it -less than 20 carbs a day- and was gaining weight. So today I read an article that people that eat a high protein diet get cancer more than people that eat a lot of fruits and vegetables so it is back to a low calorie diet. I do love a lot of fruits and vegetable and even if I do not lose weight at least I will be more healthy.
That is my life diet and gain change diets and gain lol it is sorta funny/
My dad is in the veterans hospital. He is 88 yrs old and I know that he is failing. I feel no real sorrow over him being sick. He gave up his right to have a daughters love the first time he molested me. I love him only because God lives in my heart. I would like to know why he thought it was ok for him to do the things he did. I am sure I will never get an answer.
Soon he will be moved to a nusing home cause he has to be on a breathing machine. Am I supposed to fake a love that I do not feel?
Sleep well
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Twas the month before Christmas
Twas the month before Christmas*
*When all through our land,*
*Not a Christian was praying*
*Nor taking a stand.*
*See the PC Police had taken away,*
*The reason for Christmas - no one could say.*
*The children were told by their schools not to sing,*
*About Shepherds and Wise Men and Angels and things.*
*It might hurt people's feelings, the teachers would say*
* December 25th is just a " Holiday ".*
*Yet the shoppers were ready with cash, checks and credit*
*Pushing folks down to the floor just to get it!*
*CDs from Madonna, an X BOX, an I-pod*
*Something was changing, something quite odd! *
*Retailers promoted Ramadan and Kwanzaa*
*In hopes to sell books by Franken & Fonda.*
*As Targets were hanging their trees upside down*
* At Lowe's the word Christmas - was no where to be found.*
*At K-Mart and Staples and Penny's and Sears*
*You won't hear the word Christmas; it won't touch your ears.*
*Inclusive, sensitive, Di-ver-si-ty*
*Are words that were used to intimidate me.*
*Now Daschle, Now Darden, Now Sharpton, Wolf Blitzen*
*On Boxer, on Rather, on Kerry, on Clinton !*
*At the top of the Senate, there arose such a clatter*
*To eliminate Jesus, in all public matter.*
*And we spoke not a word, as they took away our faith*
; * Forbidden to speak of salvation and grace*
*When all through our land,*
*Not a Christian was praying*
*Nor taking a stand.*
*See the PC Police had taken away,*
*The reason for Christmas - no one could say.*
*The children were told by their schools not to sing,*
*About Shepherds and Wise Men and Angels and things.*
*It might hurt people's feelings, the teachers would say*
* December 25th is just a " Holiday ".*
*Yet the shoppers were ready with cash, checks and credit*
*Pushing folks down to the floor just to get it!*
*CDs from Madonna, an X BOX, an I-pod*
*Something was changing, something quite odd! *
*Retailers promoted Ramadan and Kwanzaa*
*In hopes to sell books by Franken & Fonda.*
*As Targets were hanging their trees upside down*
* At Lowe's the word Christmas - was no where to be found.*
*At K-Mart and Staples and Penny's and Sears*
*You won't hear the word Christmas; it won't touch your ears.*
*Inclusive, sensitive, Di-ver-si-ty*
*Are words that were used to intimidate me.*
*Now Daschle, Now Darden, Now Sharpton, Wolf Blitzen*
*On Boxer, on Rather, on Kerry, on Clinton !*
*At the top of the Senate, there arose such a clatter*
*To eliminate Jesus, in all public matter.*
*And we spoke not a word, as they took away our faith*
; * Forbidden to speak of salvation and grace*
Monday, November 26, 2007
Written by a retired minister
I PREFER THE "OLD PATHS"
THE OLD PATHS
I liked the old paths,
when Moms were at home.
Dads were at work.
Brothers went into the army.
And sisters got married
BEFORE having children!
Crime did not pay;
Hard work did;
And people knew the difference.
Moms could cook;
Dads would work;
Children would behave.
Husbands were loving;
Wives were supportive;
And children were polite.
Women wore the jewelry;
And Men wore the pants.
Women looked like ladies;
Men looked like gentlemen;
And children looked decent.
People loved the truth,
And hated a lie;
They came to church to get IN,
Not to get OUT!
Hymns sounded Godly;
Sermons sounded helpful;
Rejoicing sounded normal;
And crying sounded sincere.
Cursing was wicked;
Drugs were for illness;
And divorce was unthinkable.
The flag was honored;
America was beautiful;
And God was welcome!
We read the Bible in public;
Prayed in school;
And preached from house to house.
To be called an American was worth dying for;
To be called a Christian was worth living for;
To be called a traitor was a shame!
Preachers preached because
they had a message;\
And Christians rejoiced
because they had the VICTORY!
Preachers preached from the Bible;
Singers sang from the heart;
And sinners turned to the Lord
to be SAVED!
A new birth meant a new life;
Salvation meant a changed life;
Following Christ led to eternal life.
Being a preacher meant you
proclaimed the word of God;
Being a deacon meant you would serve the Lord;
Being a Christian meant you would live for Jesus;
And being a sinner meant
someone was praying for you!
Laws were based on the Bible;
Homes read the Bible;
And churches taught the Bible.
God was worshiped;
Christ was exalted;
And the Holy Spirit was respected.
. Church was where you
found Christians on the Lord's day,
rather than in the garden,
on the creek bank,
on the golf course,
or being entertained somewhere else.
I still like the old paths the best!
THE OLD PATHS
I liked the old paths,
when Moms were at home.
Dads were at work.
Brothers went into the army.
And sisters got married
BEFORE having children!
Crime did not pay;
Hard work did;
And people knew the difference.
Moms could cook;
Dads would work;
Children would behave.
Husbands were loving;
Wives were supportive;
And children were polite.
Women wore the jewelry;
And Men wore the pants.
Women looked like ladies;
Men looked like gentlemen;
And children looked decent.
People loved the truth,
And hated a lie;
They came to church to get IN,
Not to get OUT!
Hymns sounded Godly;
Sermons sounded helpful;
Rejoicing sounded normal;
And crying sounded sincere.
Cursing was wicked;
Drugs were for illness;
And divorce was unthinkable.
The flag was honored;
America was beautiful;
And God was welcome!
We read the Bible in public;
Prayed in school;
And preached from house to house.
To be called an American was worth dying for;
To be called a Christian was worth living for;
To be called a traitor was a shame!
Preachers preached because
they had a message;\
And Christians rejoiced
because they had the VICTORY!
Preachers preached from the Bible;
Singers sang from the heart;
And sinners turned to the Lord
to be SAVED!
A new birth meant a new life;
Salvation meant a changed life;
Following Christ led to eternal life.
Being a preacher meant you
proclaimed the word of God;
Being a deacon meant you would serve the Lord;
Being a Christian meant you would live for Jesus;
And being a sinner meant
someone was praying for you!
Laws were based on the Bible;
Homes read the Bible;
And churches taught the Bible.
God was worshiped;
Christ was exalted;
And the Holy Spirit was respected.
. Church was where you
found Christians on the Lord's day,
rather than in the garden,
on the creek bank,
on the golf course,
or being entertained somewhere else.
I still like the old paths the best!
Sunday, November 25, 2007
I went to a religious concert last night
My dh and I and 2 yr. old grandson went to hear the Singing Couriers. They have been singing gospel music for over 30 years.
The lead singer is 70 yrs. old and you would never know it by the sound of his voice, deep and strong. He has such a wonderful testimony about being saved when he was 11 and then being led by God to go into the ministry when he was 15.
I don't usually take my g-baby to concerts because he gets so bored but there was a situation and it came down to stay home or take him. I chose take him, and he was a hanful but I was so blessed by the songs and the movement of God.
I hope each of you will have a blessed Sunday.
The lead singer is 70 yrs. old and you would never know it by the sound of his voice, deep and strong. He has such a wonderful testimony about being saved when he was 11 and then being led by God to go into the ministry when he was 15.
I don't usually take my g-baby to concerts because he gets so bored but there was a situation and it came down to stay home or take him. I chose take him, and he was a hanful but I was so blessed by the songs and the movement of God.
I hope each of you will have a blessed Sunday.
Friday, November 23, 2007
almost schoolgirl giddy ---lol
Yesterday was thanksgiving. Yesterday morning I got up early, did my devotionals, did 30 minutes of arobics, showered and then got on the computer. Buy this time dh had gotten up and i went to him and said something along these lines "darling, I appreciate you and I thank
God daily for you , and for putting us togeather as man and wife. I know we havn't always got along good but God has a plan and He know what we need in our spouse." And I waited for him to say something. And he didn't. And I reminded of the time years ago when he said he would not marry me again because of all the money problems we had.
He still didn't say anything so I dug it a little deeper. Isaid I don't want you to say anything that is not true so if you don't feel the same then don't lie. still nothing. so I said what you say with your mouth is what your heart feels. and I walked out. A few minutes later he came to me and said "would you marry me again. Let's renew our vows" I asked if he was serious and he said yes. Sooooooo we are going to renew our vows on the 23d of December. That is our anniversary. It will be 32 years of marriage on the 23. I told him I would marry him but he had to tell me every day that he loves me and he said he would do it.
My children are going to try to get here and my church family will be there. I am happy. How exciting is that????
God bless you all.
God daily for you , and for putting us togeather as man and wife. I know we havn't always got along good but God has a plan and He know what we need in our spouse." And I waited for him to say something. And he didn't. And I reminded of the time years ago when he said he would not marry me again because of all the money problems we had.
He still didn't say anything so I dug it a little deeper. Isaid I don't want you to say anything that is not true so if you don't feel the same then don't lie. still nothing. so I said what you say with your mouth is what your heart feels. and I walked out. A few minutes later he came to me and said "would you marry me again. Let's renew our vows" I asked if he was serious and he said yes. Sooooooo we are going to renew our vows on the 23d of December. That is our anniversary. It will be 32 years of marriage on the 23. I told him I would marry him but he had to tell me every day that he loves me and he said he would do it.
My children are going to try to get here and my church family will be there. I am happy. How exciting is that????
God bless you all.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving
My scales broke day before yesterday and so last night dh and I went and bought another digital scale. One that weighs like 112.3 (like I will EVER weight that-only in my dreams). lol hahahahahaha
Anyweigh ****get it weigh****another lol, (((NO I AM NOT DRUNK, JUST BEING VERY SILLY). it came with a dvd of biggest loser exercises. I should have checked it out today but I was just so excited over this new exercise dvd that I just forgot all about it.
I have been thinking about all that I have to be thankful for.
Here is a list of some of the things that I am thankful for
my salvation
my dh
my children
my grandchildren
my home
the opportunity to go to church
chance to exercise
food to eat
money to pay our bills
that I quit smoking
the sun shone today
the SON shone today
Dear Lord at this time of year, let us all see how blessed we are. Instead of going into the Christmas season with I want on our lips remind us that we already have abundantly. Remind us daily why we have Christmas and remind us that Jesus was the first and best gift of all time.
I can not thank You enough for this wonderful gift,
I love and praise You Lord.
Amen
Anyweigh ****get it weigh****another lol, (((NO I AM NOT DRUNK, JUST BEING VERY SILLY). it came with a dvd of biggest loser exercises. I should have checked it out today but I was just so excited over this new exercise dvd that I just forgot all about it.
I have been thinking about all that I have to be thankful for.
Here is a list of some of the things that I am thankful for
my salvation
my dh
my children
my grandchildren
my home
the opportunity to go to church
chance to exercise
food to eat
money to pay our bills
that I quit smoking
the sun shone today
the SON shone today
Dear Lord at this time of year, let us all see how blessed we are. Instead of going into the Christmas season with I want on our lips remind us that we already have abundantly. Remind us daily why we have Christmas and remind us that Jesus was the first and best gift of all time.
I can not thank You enough for this wonderful gift,
I love and praise You Lord.
Amen
Monday, November 19, 2007
Countdown to Thanksgiving
I don't usually keep g-baby on mon. but considering this is a holiday week dd is having to work a different schedule. Sctually what happened today probably started yesterday.
DD had a full day yesterday and she said they were having a Tday party at work and I volunteered to make some things for her to take ionto wordk.. Small sausages in the crockpot in BBQ sauce, green bean casserole w/bacon, and lemon bars.
I made the lemon bars yesterday and dh wanted some so I gave him one and he kept munching on another and another and etc. Now he has pre diabetes and high cholesterol and high blood pressure so with his health issues I packaged them up quiclly and got them away from him.
I got up at 6 this morning to finish everything and have it done when she got here at 6:30 and I was ready for baby.
We are trying to potty train baby and he is not wanting to do this. He stands there and while he is passing water looks at me and says I done and trys to move WITH THE WATER STILL FLOWING!!!!!I was going to give him a bath and stood him up by the potty and he tried and tried so I said get in the tub he went running in the opposite direction and then stood in the middle of the kitchen and wet the floor. My dh just stood there and laughed.
ACK :pullhair: I was just a little upset with dh baby does not know any better but dh knows laughing just encourages baby.
Then after baby went home I told dh that he had to many health problems to not be more aware of what food can do to hurt him and I cared too much about him to sit back and do notheing. Once in a while is fine but he is like a child in a candy shop- he wants to do things like that all the time.
At one time I had nagged at him and he had lowerd all of his numbers and he had lost 15 pounds and he exercised daily and he felt good. Now he is getting sluggish and weight is coming back and his numbers is creeping back up. I should not have to monator his eating and exercise like I am his parent. He should be will to be proactive about his health.
I really feel better for having complained.
DD had a full day yesterday and she said they were having a Tday party at work and I volunteered to make some things for her to take ionto wordk.. Small sausages in the crockpot in BBQ sauce, green bean casserole w/bacon, and lemon bars.
I made the lemon bars yesterday and dh wanted some so I gave him one and he kept munching on another and another and etc. Now he has pre diabetes and high cholesterol and high blood pressure so with his health issues I packaged them up quiclly and got them away from him.
I got up at 6 this morning to finish everything and have it done when she got here at 6:30 and I was ready for baby.
We are trying to potty train baby and he is not wanting to do this. He stands there and while he is passing water looks at me and says I done and trys to move WITH THE WATER STILL FLOWING!!!!!I was going to give him a bath and stood him up by the potty and he tried and tried so I said get in the tub he went running in the opposite direction and then stood in the middle of the kitchen and wet the floor. My dh just stood there and laughed.
ACK :pullhair: I was just a little upset with dh baby does not know any better but dh knows laughing just encourages baby.
Then after baby went home I told dh that he had to many health problems to not be more aware of what food can do to hurt him and I cared too much about him to sit back and do notheing. Once in a while is fine but he is like a child in a candy shop- he wants to do things like that all the time.
At one time I had nagged at him and he had lowerd all of his numbers and he had lost 15 pounds and he exercised daily and he felt good. Now he is getting sluggish and weight is coming back and his numbers is creeping back up. I should not have to monator his eating and exercise like I am his parent. He should be will to be proactive about his health.
I really feel better for having complained.
Friday, November 16, 2007
I have really been ignoring my journal-NO HARD FEELINGS, I HOPE?
Ok the last time I journaled it was the day after my birthday truthfully not much has been going on. I got sick. Well baby got sick and if you know babies you will understand when I say that babies like to snuggle when they do not feel good. Baby likes to get right up against my face and say " A-ma, nose " so I have to wipe his nose. He is so cute
dd and I wen tChristmas shopping today. I bought baby a 10 dollar box of little men, You know little he man type men. and I bought him a thomas the train dvd and I bought g daughter 2 pink shirts and a skirt. She is a girly type girl and she loves clothes even at 5 she loves frilly dressy fancy clothes and she wants everything in pink. I will pick her up a pocket book in pink and that will be her Christmas. I will buy baby a play watch cause he just loves watches, and I will buy him a few little cars and a couple of books.
Son will get a video game and dd will get jewelry, dh will get first season on mcgiver, and a cd of the bible and maybe a 20 dollar gift cirtificate to wall mart.
Son in Law will get something about nascar, expecially something with Earnhart on it. Daughter in law goodness I don't know .
Dh and I went to the dr yesterday and we both got a little talking to. I now have his approval on eating low glycemic. and hubby is having to take cholesterol pills, his bad cholesterol is way way way too high. Amd that is the way my life is.
God still leads and I still follow. I praise Him, and worship Him.
He is my Lord and I am blessed because he loves me.
God bless you all
sleep well
dd and I wen tChristmas shopping today. I bought baby a 10 dollar box of little men, You know little he man type men. and I bought him a thomas the train dvd and I bought g daughter 2 pink shirts and a skirt. She is a girly type girl and she loves clothes even at 5 she loves frilly dressy fancy clothes and she wants everything in pink. I will pick her up a pocket book in pink and that will be her Christmas. I will buy baby a play watch cause he just loves watches, and I will buy him a few little cars and a couple of books.
Son will get a video game and dd will get jewelry, dh will get first season on mcgiver, and a cd of the bible and maybe a 20 dollar gift cirtificate to wall mart.
Son in Law will get something about nascar, expecially something with Earnhart on it. Daughter in law goodness I don't know .
Dh and I went to the dr yesterday and we both got a little talking to. I now have his approval on eating low glycemic. and hubby is having to take cholesterol pills, his bad cholesterol is way way way too high. Amd that is the way my life is.
God still leads and I still follow. I praise Him, and worship Him.
He is my Lord and I am blessed because he loves me.
God bless you all
sleep well
Monday, November 5, 2007
Temp now is 51 high 73.
Plans for today- Wash and dry lines and remake beds. Do the floors (sweep and mop) cook supper, exercise. I hope to have all things finished by noon and then I am going to go up town to buy grandson some little---ummmmm--you know I don't think I know what they are called. It is the little boy version of dolls. Maybe they are called "hero figures" "action figures" sounds right too.
And then, come home and then this 56 year old woman is going to play gameboy games. It is so relaxing.
Several years ago my children asked me what I wanted for Mothers day and I asked for a playstation and I got it. I really found out how much fun they are when my children were small and I would sit and play with them. As they got older and at a time when children did not want to talk to their parents, we still had something that kept us talking and laughing.
And I still enjoy playing. And they still enjoy it and we pass games back and forth. I already said there is a little kid in me that is screaming to get out and every now and then I let her have full rein.
My inside kid has some bad temper tantrums when she does not get to play every now and then> lolololol
Have a good day everyone
Plans for today- Wash and dry lines and remake beds. Do the floors (sweep and mop) cook supper, exercise. I hope to have all things finished by noon and then I am going to go up town to buy grandson some little---ummmmm--you know I don't think I know what they are called. It is the little boy version of dolls. Maybe they are called "hero figures" "action figures" sounds right too.
And then, come home and then this 56 year old woman is going to play gameboy games. It is so relaxing.
Several years ago my children asked me what I wanted for Mothers day and I asked for a playstation and I got it. I really found out how much fun they are when my children were small and I would sit and play with them. As they got older and at a time when children did not want to talk to their parents, we still had something that kept us talking and laughing.
And I still enjoy playing. And they still enjoy it and we pass games back and forth. I already said there is a little kid in me that is screaming to get out and every now and then I let her have full rein.
My inside kid has some bad temper tantrums when she does not get to play every now and then> lolololol
Have a good day everyone
Saturday, November 3, 2007
Early Sat. morning
Good morning
It is 44 degrees and I have been awake since 4:30. I woke up and felt the need to pray for Josephine. I don't know a Josephine, but I prayed for her. I know how odd that sounds.
Today I am --
doing laundry,
cooking,
exercising,
straightening and putting away baby toys,
ironing,
vacuming and mopping ,
going over Sunday School lesson with dh,
going shopping.
I think that is it.
Have a good day everyone.
It is 44 degrees and I have been awake since 4:30. I woke up and felt the need to pray for Josephine. I don't know a Josephine, but I prayed for her. I know how odd that sounds.
Today I am --
doing laundry,
cooking,
exercising,
straightening and putting away baby toys,
ironing,
vacuming and mopping ,
going over Sunday School lesson with dh,
going shopping.
I think that is it.
Have a good day everyone.
Friday, November 2, 2007
friday fun (or not)
THis was a good day, I did not do much of anything. I wanted to run my leaf catcher but I could not get it cranked. I did go walking for 40 minutes and since I could not work outside I did about 50 minutes arobics.
My eating was so good I am going to hurt my arm patting myself on the back-lol. Calories was low and carbs were low and protein was high.
My pedometer says 9890 steps. I do check it often so it is accurate.
Dh and I decided not to go to the fellowship meeting tonight.
Next week we have to go to our church for a special speaker and there will be food and then the following week we have a golden harvestors meeting and we will eat there. I would skip it but I think it would look bad since I am the president of it.
Have you ever noticed that there is a lot of overweight people in church. I think it is because of all of the eatings that go on in church.
I did not watch baby today, I miss him when he is not here. I did talk to him on the phone once and I talked to my dd about 5 times. It is the little things that bring me such joy.
Sleep wellSweet dreams.
My eating was so good I am going to hurt my arm patting myself on the back-lol. Calories was low and carbs were low and protein was high.
My pedometer says 9890 steps. I do check it often so it is accurate.
Dh and I decided not to go to the fellowship meeting tonight.
Next week we have to go to our church for a special speaker and there will be food and then the following week we have a golden harvestors meeting and we will eat there. I would skip it but I think it would look bad since I am the president of it.
Have you ever noticed that there is a lot of overweight people in church. I think it is because of all of the eatings that go on in church.
I did not watch baby today, I miss him when he is not here. I did talk to him on the phone once and I talked to my dd about 5 times. It is the little things that bring me such joy.
Sleep wellSweet dreams.
Thursday, November 1, 2007
LOSING WEIGHT IS SO HARD TO DO.
Hello , it has been a few days and I have some catching up to do.
All day Tuesday I kept the baby and Tuesday night we went to church to the regional meeting.
A couple of months ago I had been invited to a church (not my home church) to give a devotional. I knew several people there and quickly made friends with others and last night I was invited to their church sponsered festival, and my dd and her husband and baby and my husband went.
I had a good time, baby was a dinosaur and he was so cute. I participated in the cake walk and I won, I won a cake, me- that is trying so hard and failing miserably to lose weight- won a cake. And I could not tell myself no no no no NO NO NO NO!!!!That was a good cake. The icing was make with melted candy corn.
ACK I ate some of that cake and woke up this morning with a larger number on my scales. I am going to hire a hand slapper. This is someone that walks beside me and when I reach for a no no food my employee will reach out and slap my hand.
Today I did good. I ate high protein, I had a nice salad for lunch with chicken on top. yummy.
My exercise was 45 minutes pushing my mower with my leaf catcher attached, to pick up all those leaves in my yard. Two hours later there were almost as much again . OH well I will push the mower tomorrow if I have time. After I rested a bit I went for a nice walk through the fire trail behind my house, round trip is almost 2 miles.
Cleaned house a bit, cooked supper and then caught up on my email. I did not have baby today but he wil be coming here tomorrow -supposed to get here about 7 AM.
Have a good night sweet dreams
All day Tuesday I kept the baby and Tuesday night we went to church to the regional meeting.
A couple of months ago I had been invited to a church (not my home church) to give a devotional. I knew several people there and quickly made friends with others and last night I was invited to their church sponsered festival, and my dd and her husband and baby and my husband went.
I had a good time, baby was a dinosaur and he was so cute. I participated in the cake walk and I won, I won a cake, me- that is trying so hard and failing miserably to lose weight- won a cake. And I could not tell myself no no no no NO NO NO NO!!!!That was a good cake. The icing was make with melted candy corn.
ACK I ate some of that cake and woke up this morning with a larger number on my scales. I am going to hire a hand slapper. This is someone that walks beside me and when I reach for a no no food my employee will reach out and slap my hand.
Today I did good. I ate high protein, I had a nice salad for lunch with chicken on top. yummy.
My exercise was 45 minutes pushing my mower with my leaf catcher attached, to pick up all those leaves in my yard. Two hours later there were almost as much again . OH well I will push the mower tomorrow if I have time. After I rested a bit I went for a nice walk through the fire trail behind my house, round trip is almost 2 miles.
Cleaned house a bit, cooked supper and then caught up on my email. I did not have baby today but he wil be coming here tomorrow -supposed to get here about 7 AM.
Have a good night sweet dreams
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
:) and again:) Smiles from me -I did good
Hello
I ate very good and this is day 7 of my low glycemic eating and as of Wed. to Wed. I have lost 4.2 pounds. I am happy about that enough to get up and do the "weight loss happy dance". What? You never heard of the "weight loss happy dance"? Where have you been?
I ate good today and I did not lose my temper with baby. NOT ONCE. He is so hard headed and when I say ok baby it is time to go potty he jumps and runs and I refuse to chase him because he thinks it's a game. I put a lot of his books in the bathroom and I put him on potty and then I read to him. In two days of him being here with me, he has only soiled his pull ups 3 times. I am proud of him.
In two weeks I am going to a special function at my church. It is a combination fellowship meeting of the mens ministry and the womens ministry. I need to fix something that is low glycemic friendly and somewhat low calorie. Also my husbands prediabetes is getting worse and so I need to fix something that is ok for him to eat. I know it is not that big of a deal and we could just stay home but I enjoy fellowshipping with my church family, and if I don't take something I know I can eat freely then I will just eat the other stuff, and that might trigger cravings and sinful overindulgence.
Have a good night
I ate very good and this is day 7 of my low glycemic eating and as of Wed. to Wed. I have lost 4.2 pounds. I am happy about that enough to get up and do the "weight loss happy dance". What? You never heard of the "weight loss happy dance"? Where have you been?
I ate good today and I did not lose my temper with baby. NOT ONCE. He is so hard headed and when I say ok baby it is time to go potty he jumps and runs and I refuse to chase him because he thinks it's a game. I put a lot of his books in the bathroom and I put him on potty and then I read to him. In two days of him being here with me, he has only soiled his pull ups 3 times. I am proud of him.
In two weeks I am going to a special function at my church. It is a combination fellowship meeting of the mens ministry and the womens ministry. I need to fix something that is low glycemic friendly and somewhat low calorie. Also my husbands prediabetes is getting worse and so I need to fix something that is ok for him to eat. I know it is not that big of a deal and we could just stay home but I enjoy fellowshipping with my church family, and if I don't take something I know I can eat freely then I will just eat the other stuff, and that might trigger cravings and sinful overindulgence.
Have a good night
Saturday, October 20, 2007
Friday and Saturday and me
yesterday(friday)
I pressed a key or stared cross eyed at my key board and now every time I press the shift key I get this 2-tone 1/5 second long ring. No I don't know what happened, no I don't know why it is happening and NO and NO I don't like it and No I don't know how to make it stop. HELP and HELP please pretty please tell me what to do.
We went to a local church last night to hear a young preacher and WOW he is good. He preached on Alimilec (spelling is wrong)leaving the land of bethlehem, which Bethlehem means land of bread. Any way bottom line is don't leave the land of bread just pray though your drought. We went back tonight and he did another great job. This time still in the book of Ruth and he preached on Boaz the redeemer, and how he bought and payed for Ruth and Naomi and their land. He did a wonderful serman. We all went up to pray and he got to me and he said he needed to annoint me. He asked if my childern were saved and then he said my children were under a generational curse. He said a few other things also. I know Gods touch is on him, how else would he have come so close to knowing where I came from. He said I would have victory, and I said the same thing lasat week at church.
Anyway tomorrow----I go to church in the morning and then after services we go to another church for a singing and then back to our church for evening services. How wonderful is that an entire day worshipping and praising God. I hope baby is ok with that. He usually has a tough time being good all day at church. I may have to stay home from the singing but I hope he is in a good mood.
God bless you all
Pray for me
and my children (they need to be saved)
Have a good night and a great day at church tomorrow.
I pressed a key or stared cross eyed at my key board and now every time I press the shift key I get this 2-tone 1/5 second long ring. No I don't know what happened, no I don't know why it is happening and NO and NO I don't like it and No I don't know how to make it stop. HELP and HELP please pretty please tell me what to do.
We went to a local church last night to hear a young preacher and WOW he is good. He preached on Alimilec (spelling is wrong)leaving the land of bethlehem, which Bethlehem means land of bread. Any way bottom line is don't leave the land of bread just pray though your drought. We went back tonight and he did another great job. This time still in the book of Ruth and he preached on Boaz the redeemer, and how he bought and payed for Ruth and Naomi and their land. He did a wonderful serman. We all went up to pray and he got to me and he said he needed to annoint me. He asked if my childern were saved and then he said my children were under a generational curse. He said a few other things also. I know Gods touch is on him, how else would he have come so close to knowing where I came from. He said I would have victory, and I said the same thing lasat week at church.
Anyway tomorrow----I go to church in the morning and then after services we go to another church for a singing and then back to our church for evening services. How wonderful is that an entire day worshipping and praising God. I hope baby is ok with that. He usually has a tough time being good all day at church. I may have to stay home from the singing but I hope he is in a good mood.
God bless you all
Pray for me
and my children (they need to be saved)
Have a good night and a great day at church tomorrow.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
My own Thankful Thursday
Not long ago I was invited to give a speech at a neighbor church (not my home church) I was just honored that they would ask me. I went and gave the speech and I thought i did ok even though I was so nervous. Mom asked to read it so I gave her a copy and all she said was You made a mistake about the day that you were healed. I was stunned that she would not say something positive.
This hurts and I have allowed it to continue to hurt me. I scream silent wordless screams that go nowhere but right back into my heart . Why am I surprised? She has never said one positive thing to me, never let me know she was proud of me, never did anything but hit me and tell me I am stupid and ugly.
Wed. night I stood up and said that I would have victory over the things that come against me. I said God would give me victory. I trust Him He is my Heavenly Father, and He hears me when I pray and when I weep.
I know there are a lot of negative things in my life, and I can not change any of it. But I can be thankful for what I have today
1. I am a child of God
2. My husband that supports me
3. two children that bring me joy
4. 3 grandchildren that bring me smiles
5. many people in the church that love me
6. With hilp from God I am overcoming the emotional trauma of when I was robbed.
7. Chad wants to teach me word point
8. I am losing weight (thank you Lord for answering my prayers.)
9. Dh has a steady job (thank you Lord)
10. The Lord is going to help me get a job (praise God)
and the sun is shining and
the Son is shining
I went for a nice walk today and then dh came home and he wanted to go for a walk and I went with him, so I am so thankful for my health to get out and walk like that.
I am thankful for being able to breathe deeply, the Lord healed me of a breathing problem and now I have no problem and I thenk God for His healing touch in my life and body and spirit, and in my husbands life. God is the best thing that ever happened to me.
This hurts and I have allowed it to continue to hurt me. I scream silent wordless screams that go nowhere but right back into my heart . Why am I surprised? She has never said one positive thing to me, never let me know she was proud of me, never did anything but hit me and tell me I am stupid and ugly.
Wed. night I stood up and said that I would have victory over the things that come against me. I said God would give me victory. I trust Him He is my Heavenly Father, and He hears me when I pray and when I weep.
I know there are a lot of negative things in my life, and I can not change any of it. But I can be thankful for what I have today
1. I am a child of God
2. My husband that supports me
3. two children that bring me joy
4. 3 grandchildren that bring me smiles
5. many people in the church that love me
6. With hilp from God I am overcoming the emotional trauma of when I was robbed.
7. Chad wants to teach me word point
8. I am losing weight (thank you Lord for answering my prayers.)
9. Dh has a steady job (thank you Lord)
10. The Lord is going to help me get a job (praise God)
and the sun is shining and
the Son is shining
I went for a nice walk today and then dh came home and he wanted to go for a walk and I went with him, so I am so thankful for my health to get out and walk like that.
I am thankful for being able to breathe deeply, the Lord healed me of a breathing problem and now I have no problem and I thenk God for His healing touch in my life and body and spirit, and in my husbands life. God is the best thing that ever happened to me.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Inspirationl blog
http://iluv2prshim.wordpress.com/
I read this persons blog and I was weeping with love for my God and how wonderful He is to all of us.
What a blessing to read how God moves in our lives.
I read this persons blog and I was weeping with love for my God and how wonderful He is to all of us.
What a blessing to read how God moves in our lives.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
The enemy
This is war-I have seen the enemy and he will be defeated.
The enemy tries to be with me all the time, he is Satan. He tries to make me feel like I am a failure, he wants me to think of my self as a loser and that my situation is hopeless.
Satan I got to tell you this is war, and greater is he that is in me than he that is in the world. You can not win. God has your number, and your name will be Deveated.
The problem with my mom and sister, is taken care of because I turned it over to God and He promised me that I would have victory over it.
My eating habits is not yours any longer. My appetite is not yours. With God in control I will succeed in getting healthy. No longer will you be laughing with glee because I succumb to temptations that are so bad for my health.
Your days are numbered satan. I heard a singer say plain and simply "I hate the devil" Well me too. I hate the devil. But I love God and all that he represents. I love His mercy and his grace, I love His son and the sacrifice that His son made for me. I love the blessings that God gives to me daily.
What does satan give me? nothing but grief and pain and heartache.
*Song*
He is mine
He is mine
I am blessed beyond all measure
He is mine.
From the moment that I wake up till I lay my head at rest
I am blessed beyond all measure
He is mine.
I don't think that last verse is correct but that is surely the way I feel.
Satan can't can't cross the blood line, so I ask God to draw a protective circle around me today and make satan stay away. I know that i am in His protective powers. Amen
Have a blessed day.
The enemy tries to be with me all the time, he is Satan. He tries to make me feel like I am a failure, he wants me to think of my self as a loser and that my situation is hopeless.
Satan I got to tell you this is war, and greater is he that is in me than he that is in the world. You can not win. God has your number, and your name will be Deveated.
The problem with my mom and sister, is taken care of because I turned it over to God and He promised me that I would have victory over it.
My eating habits is not yours any longer. My appetite is not yours. With God in control I will succeed in getting healthy. No longer will you be laughing with glee because I succumb to temptations that are so bad for my health.
Your days are numbered satan. I heard a singer say plain and simply "I hate the devil" Well me too. I hate the devil. But I love God and all that he represents. I love His mercy and his grace, I love His son and the sacrifice that His son made for me. I love the blessings that God gives to me daily.
What does satan give me? nothing but grief and pain and heartache.
*Song*
He is mine
He is mine
I am blessed beyond all measure
He is mine.
From the moment that I wake up till I lay my head at rest
I am blessed beyond all measure
He is mine.
I don't think that last verse is correct but that is surely the way I feel.
Satan can't can't cross the blood line, so I ask God to draw a protective circle around me today and make satan stay away. I know that i am in His protective powers. Amen
Have a blessed day.
Monday, October 15, 2007
good things and bad things
Today I got up and exercised for 35 minutes-I like doing Leslie Sansone low impact Walk away the Pounds video. Then I went for a 35 minute walk out through the woods behind our house. I really enjoy realtime walking. There is something so special about the fresh air and hearing the birds sing and today I saw 2 deer. one was standing off to the side and the other was eating some corn that hunters had put down to attract the deer. I have no problem with hunters. I think they are necesary to keep the deer population down around here and I think it is healthy food. I walked slowly toward them and eventually they saw/heard me and they ran off, they were beautiful and so graceful.
Then almost immediately I saw a yellow butterfly, it flew straight towards me and then it danced and gave a lovely performace around me, just for me.
Bad me ate 6 chocolate chip cookies, I wish I could say they were small but they were almost the size of my palm across-not that thick. I ate too many calories. I am not going to eat anything else and I hope that being good all day long will help me negate the calories of the cookies.
I really hate that I have a super size appetite. Why can't I be satisfied with 2 cookies like most people? NOOOOOO I have to try to make a complete meal out of cookies- bleech ----sometimes I just feel like a failure.
Then I remember that God loves me, He does not love a failure< He love me, weak and overweight-but He loves me. Praise God He loves me, and I love Him.
Then almost immediately I saw a yellow butterfly, it flew straight towards me and then it danced and gave a lovely performace around me, just for me.
Bad me ate 6 chocolate chip cookies, I wish I could say they were small but they were almost the size of my palm across-not that thick. I ate too many calories. I am not going to eat anything else and I hope that being good all day long will help me negate the calories of the cookies.
I really hate that I have a super size appetite. Why can't I be satisfied with 2 cookies like most people? NOOOOOO I have to try to make a complete meal out of cookies- bleech ----sometimes I just feel like a failure.
Then I remember that God loves me, He does not love a failure< He love me, weak and overweight-but He loves me. Praise God He loves me, and I love Him.
Sunday, October 14, 2007
inspirational blog of the day
This blog has blessed me so many times, the poetry is so great.
Read and enjoy
http://newpsalms.wordpress.com/
Read and enjoy
http://newpsalms.wordpress.com/
church
I needed today--I needed that service--Our preacher asked if anyone needed to stand up and claim a victory for answered prayer or claim a victory for a prayer that would be answered. I set there, I could not pull the faith I needed to claim a victory. Several people did stand and told of how God moved in their lives. But I just set there-He said there is one more person that needs to stand. He waited and he prayed and I moved, I stood to my feet and I said I have a burden that has been going on for a few weeks and I claim this victory. I know that God is going to lift me above it.
I can not change mom and Barb, I can not make them act different, but I can ask God to lift me above the hurt in my heart, I can ask Him to change them. I can leave it at the foot of the cross, I can ask Jesus to cover it with His blood.
Please pray
God bless you
Good night
I can not change mom and Barb, I can not make them act different, but I can ask God to lift me above the hurt in my heart, I can ask Him to change them. I can leave it at the foot of the cross, I can ask Jesus to cover it with His blood.
Please pray
God bless you
Good night
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Inspirational post of the day
This is a wonderful presentation from youtube. It is a man painting a picture of Jesus. It is unbelievable how talented he is. It lasts about 8 minutes, but I think you will enjoy it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8M4_IlbaZHA&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww%2Ebhgalone%2Eblogspot%2Ecom%2F
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8M4_IlbaZHA&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww%2Ebhgalone%2Eblogspot%2Ecom%2F
I weep, I pray, I weep, I pray
I am holding on by a thread and the thread is stretching from the weight of my heartache. Soon the thread is going to break,
Please Lord don't let me drop.
Father ease me, send me the comfort that I seek
Please Lord, I am tired of my family persecuting me. I have done nothing wrong.
I did not ask to be president of the GH, they boted me in. I was honored that they wanted me to be, you are supposed to uplift me, why are you trying so hard to tear me down? If you do not like what I am doing then voice it at the next meeting please don't get on the phone afterwards, andtell me how sorry I am or how I am not doing like I am supposed to be doing. You have done nothing buyt complain since I became president. But the members have increased since I got the leadership.
God help me to be patient, Lord lift me above the pettiness, help me to overcome the persecution, help me to hold onto my joy.
Amen
Please Lord don't let me drop.
Father ease me, send me the comfort that I seek
Please Lord, I am tired of my family persecuting me. I have done nothing wrong.
I did not ask to be president of the GH, they boted me in. I was honored that they wanted me to be, you are supposed to uplift me, why are you trying so hard to tear me down? If you do not like what I am doing then voice it at the next meeting please don't get on the phone afterwards, andtell me how sorry I am or how I am not doing like I am supposed to be doing. You have done nothing buyt complain since I became president. But the members have increased since I got the leadership.
God help me to be patient, Lord lift me above the pettiness, help me to overcome the persecution, help me to hold onto my joy.
Amen
Friday, October 12, 2007
My day --sigh * sigh* sigh-I weep
I ate way more than I should have. no excuses except well totally no excuses .
I caved in
I saw the enemy and I surrendered to it.
The enemy was way more poweful than my will power.
Golden Harveters meeting was good, I had invited a singer to come out and oh my she was good. She sung good and we were all blessed with the movement of God touching us. Everyone said they enjoyed it, even the singer and her husband thanked me and said they had a good time.
I get home and mom had left a message on my machine so I called her back and I took care of what she needed and then told her what a good time we had. She sharply told me that I could not call it golden harvesters any longer cause it lasted too long and we were just supposed to sit and eat and talk. My heart is breaking cause I can do no right where her and Barb is concerned. My heart is aching so bad. Why can't they stop putting me down so much? Why must they want to bring me down? I don't think I have been saved long enough to know how to handle the persecution. Sad so very sad. and hurt and don't know which way to turn.
Dh and I go to hospital in the morn to get blood work done. Actually it is not a hospital it is like an outreach type thing and sponsered by different businesses in the area and it is free. They actually draw blood and sent it off to be evaluated??? is that the right word. Anyway it is free and since dh and I do not have insurance we take full advantage of this. Then when the results come in we take them to our dr. and he puts them in our files and saves us a pile of money.
Tomorrow night dh and I go to hear Carla and Redemtion sing. I am so looking forward to going. Her family sings so very good and it is always a wonderful blessing to hear her. She is an american Indian out of North Carolina. On the 22nd (I think), the Harpers are coming to a church near here and they sing good too. So I am trying not to miss anthing that puts us with other people that love God. I love being where God is being worshipped.
My diet was off today I will say that again, I ate way too much ----beter way to say it is I ate too much calories- but tomorrow is another day and I will have a fresh and brand new day to worship and love God and exercise and eat healthy. Isn't God just wonderful to give to us a new day over and over again to start fresh? God is so good to us.
Sleep well
and
God bless you
I caved in
I saw the enemy and I surrendered to it.
The enemy was way more poweful than my will power.
Golden Harveters meeting was good, I had invited a singer to come out and oh my she was good. She sung good and we were all blessed with the movement of God touching us. Everyone said they enjoyed it, even the singer and her husband thanked me and said they had a good time.
I get home and mom had left a message on my machine so I called her back and I took care of what she needed and then told her what a good time we had. She sharply told me that I could not call it golden harvesters any longer cause it lasted too long and we were just supposed to sit and eat and talk. My heart is breaking cause I can do no right where her and Barb is concerned. My heart is aching so bad. Why can't they stop putting me down so much? Why must they want to bring me down? I don't think I have been saved long enough to know how to handle the persecution. Sad so very sad. and hurt and don't know which way to turn.
Dh and I go to hospital in the morn to get blood work done. Actually it is not a hospital it is like an outreach type thing and sponsered by different businesses in the area and it is free. They actually draw blood and sent it off to be evaluated??? is that the right word. Anyway it is free and since dh and I do not have insurance we take full advantage of this. Then when the results come in we take them to our dr. and he puts them in our files and saves us a pile of money.
Tomorrow night dh and I go to hear Carla and Redemtion sing. I am so looking forward to going. Her family sings so very good and it is always a wonderful blessing to hear her. She is an american Indian out of North Carolina. On the 22nd (I think), the Harpers are coming to a church near here and they sing good too. So I am trying not to miss anthing that puts us with other people that love God. I love being where God is being worshipped.
My diet was off today I will say that again, I ate way too much ----beter way to say it is I ate too much calories- but tomorrow is another day and I will have a fresh and brand new day to worship and love God and exercise and eat healthy. Isn't God just wonderful to give to us a new day over and over again to start fresh? God is so good to us.
Sleep well
and
God bless you
Motivating blog of the day
You have to check this blog out. I read this and it was so motivating and uplifting.
http://www.ypweightloss.blogspot.com/
http://www.ypweightloss.blogspot.com/
Thursday, October 11, 2007
bad day-good day
Hello
The dieting part of my day was good-I ate
4 turkey sausages
2 whole wheat diet bread
2 egg whites
1 slice low fat cheese
fruit
3 coffee
2 bread
1 and 1/2 half T. diet mayo
4 pieces imitation crab
diet meal
cheese
total calories ====1240
pedometer steps====9446
Exercise was chasing 2 yr old and having him chase me, cleaning house, straightening house, and walking through the fire trail after baby went home.
Bad part was things are excalating with my sister. I found out yesterday that my sister is telling people that the reason she does not go to the meetings at church is because I don't want her and her granddaughter there. I told my daughter today and dd got angry. I did not know she was going to do anything but she called my sister and told her she was very wrong to be saying so many things about me , and that she is supposed to be supporting me in what I try to do for God. I am not mad at my dd she was just trying to take up for me. I know that I am going to have some fallout about it.
I talked to dh about it all and he and I agree it is time for us to move on down the road. We will be going tomorrow night to the Golden Harvesters meeting but after that we will be going to a differnt church. I just can't hurt any more.
Now for more good
Dh and I went to a concert tonight ---we heard Ivan Parker and he was so good. He usually sings with the Gaithers. I really got a blessing from his singing and dh and I bought one of his cd's. I think we are really going to enjoy the cd.
God ease everyones hurt feelings. Help us all get over it and get back to worshipping you. This I ask in Jesus name
AMEN
Good night and God bless
The dieting part of my day was good-I ate
4 turkey sausages
2 whole wheat diet bread
2 egg whites
1 slice low fat cheese
fruit
3 coffee
2 bread
1 and 1/2 half T. diet mayo
4 pieces imitation crab
diet meal
cheese
total calories ====1240
pedometer steps====9446
Exercise was chasing 2 yr old and having him chase me, cleaning house, straightening house, and walking through the fire trail after baby went home.
Bad part was things are excalating with my sister. I found out yesterday that my sister is telling people that the reason she does not go to the meetings at church is because I don't want her and her granddaughter there. I told my daughter today and dd got angry. I did not know she was going to do anything but she called my sister and told her she was very wrong to be saying so many things about me , and that she is supposed to be supporting me in what I try to do for God. I am not mad at my dd she was just trying to take up for me. I know that I am going to have some fallout about it.
I talked to dh about it all and he and I agree it is time for us to move on down the road. We will be going tomorrow night to the Golden Harvesters meeting but after that we will be going to a differnt church. I just can't hurt any more.
Now for more good
Dh and I went to a concert tonight ---we heard Ivan Parker and he was so good. He usually sings with the Gaithers. I really got a blessing from his singing and dh and I bought one of his cd's. I think we are really going to enjoy the cd.
God ease everyones hurt feelings. Help us all get over it and get back to worshipping you. This I ask in Jesus name
AMEN
Good night and God bless
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Loving my day-pleased with food choices and exercise
2 bread, eggs, fruit, 3 coffee,
salad and dressing, (full salad with cukes, and snow pea pods, radishes, lettuce,)
diet meal
sandwich,
energy drink
total calories was 1455
pedometer steps 12089
Exercise was leslie sansone arobic video and walking and playing with grandson and cleaning house and doing laundry and putting it away.
It really was a good day, I had high energy and high expectations. I went to church tonight and I absolutel.y love our musicians. Our steel guitar player is ill but he still trys to get there and plays his heart out for us, we have a steel quitar player, a drummer, an organist and a piano player. It is such a blessing to hear them play. I think God annoints them because they use their talents to praise Him.
Please Lord ease my heart and take away the pain.
Amen
Sleep well everyone.
salad and dressing, (full salad with cukes, and snow pea pods, radishes, lettuce,)
diet meal
sandwich,
energy drink
total calories was 1455
pedometer steps 12089
Exercise was leslie sansone arobic video and walking and playing with grandson and cleaning house and doing laundry and putting it away.
It really was a good day, I had high energy and high expectations. I went to church tonight and I absolutel.y love our musicians. Our steel guitar player is ill but he still trys to get there and plays his heart out for us, we have a steel quitar player, a drummer, an organist and a piano player. It is such a blessing to hear them play. I think God annoints them because they use their talents to praise Him.
Please Lord ease my heart and take away the pain.
Amen
Sleep well everyone.
A new day and "what color are you"
You Are Crimson Red
Down to earth and warm-hearted, you instantly make everyone feel at ease around you.
And while you have an understated passion - you lack the uncontrolled passion of most other reds.
You prefer to sit back and enjoy every situation life has to offer.
You put an optimistic spin on everything.
And even when things are going well, you don't get too amped up.
You prefer to keep your emotions as steady as possible.
http://www.blogthings.com/whatcolorredareyouquiz/
I refuse to feel sorry for myself and I refuse to kick myself. I go forward and I will not look back at my yesterdays except in passing and in explaining a few things.
I woke up this morning and I weighed 217.8. I had over a yr. ago got down to 184 and then my thyroid messed up. Dr. put me on synthyroid but still I have lost and gained and lost and gained. I am not going to blame it on my thyroid although to be honest I do think it plays a part in my failure to lose weight easily. But also I am past menopause and that slows down your metabolism.
I have saved to my favorites maybe 30 weight loss blogs, I wish I knew how to put it to the side of my blog listed as favorite linksm butr that is just beyond my computer knowledge.
I am going to runto them often for motivation and if one of them gives me great advice or motivation for the day I will give that blog "honorable mention". If anyone reads this and would like for me to read your blog send me a link to it and I will go to it.
If anyone has any advice for me I will give you honorable mention just for taking the time to try to help me.
My short term goal is to lose to 210 by Nov. 4 . That is only 7 pounds and that would be a wonderful birthday gift to me. That's right -Nov. 4 is my birthday, and I will be 56 yr.s old.
I exercise nearly every day, I do Leslie Sansonne, I walk, I cut grass, and I babysit my 2 yr. old very active grandson. He is here today and he is being good, He loves Thomas the Train, and so he is watching that right now. He spent the night with me cause his parents had to get up early and go to work they will do the same tomorrow and os he will spend the night here tonight also. I have already gottenup 10 times cause baby wants me to see blue thomas the train (he says boo tomy tain) .
Anyway his diaper leaked and so I had to change linens on bed and wash the mattress pad so glad I had one on the bed plus the water went through the mattress pad onto the mattress and I wiped mattress and hope it did some good and then sprayed down good with lysol spray.
Ok back to weight, eating and exercising, I don't have a problem with exercising, Ilove to exercise. I love to go walking through the fire trail behind my house and I pray and worship while I walk or I listen to music on my head phones. I mow with a push mower and I enjoy the way my body feels when I am active.
My problem really is I love to eat and sometimes I hate to eat but I eat anyway, and a lot of times I eat when I am not hungry.
Goals is
1. try to eat when I am hungry or at least eat at a set time like breakfast, small snack, lunch, snack, dinner and nothing after 5 pm.
2. exercise daily-or almost daily. I really do enjoy it so that is not going to be hard to do, and journal it here
3. list all foods that I eat daily, and journal it here.
4. Drink water, that will be hard to do because I don't like water.
5. Take my multivitamin daily
6. Learn to love me and take care of me.
I love my God, my husband, my children, and my grandchildren.
It should not be that hard for me to love me.
Motivational blog of the day
http://just-a-mom-thats-more-than-enough.blogspot.com/2007/10/weigh-in-day_10.html
Go check her out, she is truly an inspiration.
Down to earth and warm-hearted, you instantly make everyone feel at ease around you.
And while you have an understated passion - you lack the uncontrolled passion of most other reds.
You prefer to sit back and enjoy every situation life has to offer.
You put an optimistic spin on everything.
And even when things are going well, you don't get too amped up.
You prefer to keep your emotions as steady as possible.
http://www.blogthings.com/whatcolorredareyouquiz/
I refuse to feel sorry for myself and I refuse to kick myself. I go forward and I will not look back at my yesterdays except in passing and in explaining a few things.
I woke up this morning and I weighed 217.8. I had over a yr. ago got down to 184 and then my thyroid messed up. Dr. put me on synthyroid but still I have lost and gained and lost and gained. I am not going to blame it on my thyroid although to be honest I do think it plays a part in my failure to lose weight easily. But also I am past menopause and that slows down your metabolism.
I have saved to my favorites maybe 30 weight loss blogs, I wish I knew how to put it to the side of my blog listed as favorite linksm butr that is just beyond my computer knowledge.
I am going to runto them often for motivation and if one of them gives me great advice or motivation for the day I will give that blog "honorable mention". If anyone reads this and would like for me to read your blog send me a link to it and I will go to it.
If anyone has any advice for me I will give you honorable mention just for taking the time to try to help me.
My short term goal is to lose to 210 by Nov. 4 . That is only 7 pounds and that would be a wonderful birthday gift to me. That's right -Nov. 4 is my birthday, and I will be 56 yr.s old.
I exercise nearly every day, I do Leslie Sansonne, I walk, I cut grass, and I babysit my 2 yr. old very active grandson. He is here today and he is being good, He loves Thomas the Train, and so he is watching that right now. He spent the night with me cause his parents had to get up early and go to work they will do the same tomorrow and os he will spend the night here tonight also. I have already gottenup 10 times cause baby wants me to see blue thomas the train (he says boo tomy tain) .
Anyway his diaper leaked and so I had to change linens on bed and wash the mattress pad so glad I had one on the bed plus the water went through the mattress pad onto the mattress and I wiped mattress and hope it did some good and then sprayed down good with lysol spray.
Ok back to weight, eating and exercising, I don't have a problem with exercising, Ilove to exercise. I love to go walking through the fire trail behind my house and I pray and worship while I walk or I listen to music on my head phones. I mow with a push mower and I enjoy the way my body feels when I am active.
My problem really is I love to eat and sometimes I hate to eat but I eat anyway, and a lot of times I eat when I am not hungry.
Goals is
1. try to eat when I am hungry or at least eat at a set time like breakfast, small snack, lunch, snack, dinner and nothing after 5 pm.
2. exercise daily-or almost daily. I really do enjoy it so that is not going to be hard to do, and journal it here
3. list all foods that I eat daily, and journal it here.
4. Drink water, that will be hard to do because I don't like water.
5. Take my multivitamin daily
6. Learn to love me and take care of me.
I love my God, my husband, my children, and my grandchildren.
It should not be that hard for me to love me.
Motivational blog of the day
http://just-a-mom-thats-more-than-enough.blogspot.com/2007/10/weigh-in-day_10.html
Go check her out, she is truly an inspiration.
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Satan hates what God loves
I sit here with tears in my eyes because my sister is telling people that she is not going to the meetings because I don't want her and her grandbaby there. THat is not the truth, it is also not exactly a lie either. She would go with her grandchild and let her 2 yr. old just run wild and cry and yell while people were giving the devotional or praying. She would litterally let her grand-d run all about the fellowship hall regardless of what was being done. No, I did not want that going on. And now she is telling people that it is my fault that she is not going.
I know that all of that is a trick of the devil to get my heart stirred up and hurting. That does not make me feel better. I still hurt.
I want to quit going to that church so bad, I am so ready to just walk away. I have tried to leave so many times and each time that I go to a different church I hear God in my spirit telling me that I am supposed to be at LCCOG. I have heard Him say in my heart that he has plans for me and if I leave He can not give me those plans.
Since last Wednesday 5 different people have sent me Jermiah 29:11---
"For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope."
The first time was at a religious site I am a member of, I had told of being invited to a different church to give my testimony, and another member gave me that verse.
Later that day someone else gave it to me, and again another person gave it to me. None of these people knew the others and they did not know that I had already been given the verse by someone else.
At church on Sunday, we had a visiting speaker and that person mentioned that verse and then this morning I visited a different blog and the first paragraph that was wrote was that verse.
I think God is trying to tell me something.
I know all of this and I love God so much and what to stay in His will, but it still hurts for my good to be talked bad about and my first instinct is to run, run anywhere, just run away.
I have given it all to God I lay it at the foot of the cross, I ask Jesus to let His blood cover the hurt and the pain. I ask my Lord to lead and guide me. I ask God to lift me above it. I rebuke satan now in the name of Jesus Christ. I am a child of the King.
Amen.
Please anyone that reads this agree with me in prayer that this matter will be resolved.
I know that all of that is a trick of the devil to get my heart stirred up and hurting. That does not make me feel better. I still hurt.
I want to quit going to that church so bad, I am so ready to just walk away. I have tried to leave so many times and each time that I go to a different church I hear God in my spirit telling me that I am supposed to be at LCCOG. I have heard Him say in my heart that he has plans for me and if I leave He can not give me those plans.
Since last Wednesday 5 different people have sent me Jermiah 29:11---
"For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope."
The first time was at a religious site I am a member of, I had told of being invited to a different church to give my testimony, and another member gave me that verse.
Later that day someone else gave it to me, and again another person gave it to me. None of these people knew the others and they did not know that I had already been given the verse by someone else.
At church on Sunday, we had a visiting speaker and that person mentioned that verse and then this morning I visited a different blog and the first paragraph that was wrote was that verse.
I think God is trying to tell me something.
I know all of this and I love God so much and what to stay in His will, but it still hurts for my good to be talked bad about and my first instinct is to run, run anywhere, just run away.
I have given it all to God I lay it at the foot of the cross, I ask Jesus to let His blood cover the hurt and the pain. I ask my Lord to lead and guide me. I ask God to lift me above it. I rebuke satan now in the name of Jesus Christ. I am a child of the King.
Amen.
Please anyone that reads this agree with me in prayer that this matter will be resolved.
Monday, October 8, 2007
my monthly "quit net" anniversary
I love the updates I get each month -I am so happy that I quit smoking. It was not an easy thing to do but it was the best thing that I have done for my health.
Your Quit Date is: Friday, May 07, 2004 at 12:00:00 PM
Time Smoke-Free: 1247 days, 17 hours, 22 minutes and 57 seconds
Cigarettes NOT smoked: 49909
Lifetime Saved: 12 months, 21 days, 5 hours
Money Saved: $4,992.00Open Gadget
Your Quit Date is: Friday, May 07, 2004 at 12:00:00 PM
Time Smoke-Free: 1247 days, 17 hours, 22 minutes and 57 seconds
Cigarettes NOT smoked: 49909
Lifetime Saved: 12 months, 21 days, 5 hours
Money Saved: $4,992.00Open Gadget
Saturday, October 6, 2007
216.2---That does not look good at all
I am so hoping and praying that my todays weight is a glitch in my digital scales. Sometimes it happens, you know, a false weight showing. This is Saturday and on Thursday my weight was 211.6 so you can see how I am hoping that it is just a false reading.
I made some soup it is called the Sacred Heart soup, and it is tasty. I tweaked it a bit and I am sure my version has more calories than there version BUT not a lot cause all I did was leave off the onions and peppers and added some sweet peas and some okra. Neither of those is high in calories so I roughly figured that one cup has 50 calories and that is a good amount. The soup is filling and satisfing. I like this and when you think about the soup and all of the low calorie vegetables out there that can be added, there is no way that you could get tired of eating the same soup all the time cause it would be different each time you made it. (run on sentance)
I went to the RU meeting last night and had a wonderful time. We discussed how little sins can lead to big disasters. Like anger, get a little mad and start saying things you should not and that could lead to even more outbursts until you have literally screamed and yelled your way away from God.
Then we went to the fellowship hall and had some tasty snacks. Too high in calories but I did show some control and only got a small amount of each thing.
Dear Father
I ask Lord that you bless dh and me. Lift our spirit up and fill us with your love. Thank you Father for giving a hunger to us, a hunger that leads us to want to be in your presence, a hunger that makes us want to go to your house to worship with your other children. Give us the desires of our heart Lord and that is to always stay within your will, Teach us the things we need to know so that someday we can hear you say"well done, my child and welcome home".
God I ask that tonight during the singing please open the flood gates of heaven and pour out blessings upon us as we worship you with songs and testimony and praise. Annoint the singers and the speakers as they give worship and praise to you. Touch every heart that is there, change lives -revive spirits and let each person be touched in some way.
For your glory,
I pray in Jesus name,
Amen.
I made some soup it is called the Sacred Heart soup, and it is tasty. I tweaked it a bit and I am sure my version has more calories than there version BUT not a lot cause all I did was leave off the onions and peppers and added some sweet peas and some okra. Neither of those is high in calories so I roughly figured that one cup has 50 calories and that is a good amount. The soup is filling and satisfing. I like this and when you think about the soup and all of the low calorie vegetables out there that can be added, there is no way that you could get tired of eating the same soup all the time cause it would be different each time you made it. (run on sentance)
I went to the RU meeting last night and had a wonderful time. We discussed how little sins can lead to big disasters. Like anger, get a little mad and start saying things you should not and that could lead to even more outbursts until you have literally screamed and yelled your way away from God.
Then we went to the fellowship hall and had some tasty snacks. Too high in calories but I did show some control and only got a small amount of each thing.
Dear Father
I ask Lord that you bless dh and me. Lift our spirit up and fill us with your love. Thank you Father for giving a hunger to us, a hunger that leads us to want to be in your presence, a hunger that makes us want to go to your house to worship with your other children. Give us the desires of our heart Lord and that is to always stay within your will, Teach us the things we need to know so that someday we can hear you say"well done, my child and welcome home".
God I ask that tonight during the singing please open the flood gates of heaven and pour out blessings upon us as we worship you with songs and testimony and praise. Annoint the singers and the speakers as they give worship and praise to you. Touch every heart that is there, change lives -revive spirits and let each person be touched in some way.
For your glory,
I pray in Jesus name,
Amen.
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
211.8-ladies meeting, speech
I am back from the meeting tonight. I was so proud of my control while I was eating. I fixed a plate of a bit of this and a bit of that and then a saucer of 3 small pieces of dessert. i picked at the meal tasting a spoon of each thing and then the dessert, I ate the fruit out of the fruit pie and I ate a small portion of the other pie and the brownie was burnt on the bottom and it did not eat but two small bites of it.
I know that calorie wise I still went over but it could have been so much worse. I give myself 4 stars for showing control. (Is it proper to give your own self stars?)
This morning I did 40 minutes of arobics and then after g-son went home I walked for 25 minutes. I played with baby and that is a pretty good workout, I lifted him and chased him and he chased me and we walked outside and he told me the colors of each of my plants, some of them were brown, I refused to tell him they were dead.
Pedometer steps -11727
calories- probably 2000
Now the speech-I was so nervous. Swarms and swarms of butterflys just flying all over my tummy. But I had prayed and I don't think anyone knew that I was so nervous. I have given speeches in church before, you would think it would get easier but it hasn''t so far.
They had a check for 25 dollars wrote for me for giving the speech. I refused it. I can not take money for telling what God did for me.
Ok that was my evening.
Thank You Lord for being so good to me this night. THank you for giving me the words to say and thank you for the receptive hearts that listened. God bless each person.
Amen
I know that calorie wise I still went over but it could have been so much worse. I give myself 4 stars for showing control. (Is it proper to give your own self stars?)
This morning I did 40 minutes of arobics and then after g-son went home I walked for 25 minutes. I played with baby and that is a pretty good workout, I lifted him and chased him and he chased me and we walked outside and he told me the colors of each of my plants, some of them were brown, I refused to tell him they were dead.
Pedometer steps -11727
calories- probably 2000
Now the speech-I was so nervous. Swarms and swarms of butterflys just flying all over my tummy. But I had prayed and I don't think anyone knew that I was so nervous. I have given speeches in church before, you would think it would get easier but it hasn''t so far.
They had a check for 25 dollars wrote for me for giving the speech. I refused it. I can not take money for telling what God did for me.
Ok that was my evening.
Thank You Lord for being so good to me this night. THank you for giving me the words to say and thank you for the receptive hearts that listened. God bless each person.
Amen
211.8-baby- mom-speech
Baby came today and he is his usualy rambunctious self, a bundle of energy and warm hugs and kisses.
We went to moms house for about 30 minutes. she is failing so fast.
I have kept up with my calories so far for today BUT everyone hear that big big but, a very slight play on words there,
I have been invited to give a devotional at a church that is not my home church. It is a great honor for me to be asked to give a devotional because they have not heard me give a devotional or speech before. They have only heard a small portion of my testimony and from that I was asked to come. Tonight is the night.
I am not a professional speaker and I am already getting nervous and have swarms of butterflys in my stomach.What do I do? you ask- I answer. I eat of course!!!!!
So at this time I am still within an acceptable range of calories -howeverat the meeting tonight will be piles of food. fried chicken. peach cobbler, home made biscuits, potatoe salad, mac and cheese, etc. Church going people do cook good and they cook a lot. There is no way to get out of it. People say I made this you have to try it. Just a small amount, surely a little will be all right.
I know me and I know that I go with the best intentions but I always fail. Tonight I go with the idea that yes i will eat too much high calories foods. But tomorrow I can do an extra 30 or 40 mionutes of exercise and then cut back on my eating for the next few days and maybe I can undo some of the damge I will do tonight.
It will be a planned splurge, with a plan to undo some of the splurge.
Praise the lord for this oppportunity to lift His name in love and adoration,.
I hope that my story moves the spirits of Gods people and blessses them in some way.
We went to moms house for about 30 minutes. she is failing so fast.
I have kept up with my calories so far for today BUT everyone hear that big big but, a very slight play on words there,
I have been invited to give a devotional at a church that is not my home church. It is a great honor for me to be asked to give a devotional because they have not heard me give a devotional or speech before. They have only heard a small portion of my testimony and from that I was asked to come. Tonight is the night.
I am not a professional speaker and I am already getting nervous and have swarms of butterflys in my stomach.What do I do? you ask- I answer. I eat of course!!!!!
So at this time I am still within an acceptable range of calories -howeverat the meeting tonight will be piles of food. fried chicken. peach cobbler, home made biscuits, potatoe salad, mac and cheese, etc. Church going people do cook good and they cook a lot. There is no way to get out of it. People say I made this you have to try it. Just a small amount, surely a little will be all right.
I know me and I know that I go with the best intentions but I always fail. Tonight I go with the idea that yes i will eat too much high calories foods. But tomorrow I can do an extra 30 or 40 mionutes of exercise and then cut back on my eating for the next few days and maybe I can undo some of the damge I will do tonight.
It will be a planned splurge, with a plan to undo some of the splurge.
Praise the lord for this oppportunity to lift His name in love and adoration,.
I hope that my story moves the spirits of Gods people and blessses them in some way.
Sunday, September 30, 2007
212.4-church and baby,
I had such a wonderful time today at church.
Our Sunday School lesson was on the faith of Abraham. The last few lessons were about Abraham and they could all have been titled "The God of the Impossible."
Tonight we had a 5th Sunday singing. All of the singers were just local talent but they loved the Lord and we all got such a blessing from hearing the praises of the Lord being sung. It reminded me so much of David and how he loved to sing songs to God and about God.
My calories for today was 1385 and pedometer steps was 11816, my exercise was 30 minutes arobics and 35 minutes walking and then playing with my 2 yr. old grandson after we got home from morning service.
The library for the church is beginning to come togeather-only in the planning stages at this point. But dh did look at the room tonight and has some idea about how much lumber is going to be needed and a round about figure on how much it will cost. He will think about it a bit more and then turn in a rough estimate. Hopefully it will be approved and things can start moving forward. I am so excited about starting this.
Tomorrow I will be exercising, then shopping, then walking, then writing and reworking my speech for Tuesday night at Gilead Babtist Church.
I really need to find time to wash clothes and to straighten a bit.
Washing clothes is a must but I can put off straightening for a few more days.
I don't mind too much putting taht off, it is not one of my favorite things todo.
Holy Father
thank you Lord for this marvelous day you have given to me. I cherish your gifts and do not take this lightly. I am glad I was able to be with some of your other children, that togeather we raised our hands and our voices in praise to you.
Please dear Father, touch and bless
Preacher and his wife -Lift up
Morrel and Relzie-sickness
Jake and Eloise-sickness
Mom and Dad-sick and elderly
Barb and Gene-revival in their heart
Jeni and Ron-salvation
Ben and Serena-salvation
My church-revival
dh-strengthen him, and bless him .
This things i pray in the name of Jesus
Amen
Our Sunday School lesson was on the faith of Abraham. The last few lessons were about Abraham and they could all have been titled "The God of the Impossible."
Tonight we had a 5th Sunday singing. All of the singers were just local talent but they loved the Lord and we all got such a blessing from hearing the praises of the Lord being sung. It reminded me so much of David and how he loved to sing songs to God and about God.
My calories for today was 1385 and pedometer steps was 11816, my exercise was 30 minutes arobics and 35 minutes walking and then playing with my 2 yr. old grandson after we got home from morning service.
The library for the church is beginning to come togeather-only in the planning stages at this point. But dh did look at the room tonight and has some idea about how much lumber is going to be needed and a round about figure on how much it will cost. He will think about it a bit more and then turn in a rough estimate. Hopefully it will be approved and things can start moving forward. I am so excited about starting this.
Tomorrow I will be exercising, then shopping, then walking, then writing and reworking my speech for Tuesday night at Gilead Babtist Church.
I really need to find time to wash clothes and to straighten a bit.
Washing clothes is a must but I can put off straightening for a few more days.
I don't mind too much putting taht off, it is not one of my favorite things todo.
Holy Father
thank you Lord for this marvelous day you have given to me. I cherish your gifts and do not take this lightly. I am glad I was able to be with some of your other children, that togeather we raised our hands and our voices in praise to you.
Please dear Father, touch and bless
Preacher and his wife -Lift up
Morrel and Relzie-sickness
Jake and Eloise-sickness
Mom and Dad-sick and elderly
Barb and Gene-revival in their heart
Jeni and Ron-salvation
Ben and Serena-salvation
My church-revival
dh-strengthen him, and bless him .
This things i pray in the name of Jesus
Amen
I was glad when they said----
Let us go to the house of the Lord.
My Lord and Father
Thank you for this day that you gave to us. A day set aside for us to gather ourselves togeather to worship and praise you. A day for us to renew and refresh and revive , a day for us all to gain strength and to give our testimony and be blessed with songs and to be fed with your annointed word.
I ask my Lord that each person be lifted, let their lives be enriched, may each person pull up to your table and dine, and may they leave better and happier than they came.
Please touch and annoint-our singers, our musicians, our Sunday School teachers and our pastor.
Thank You,
In the name of Jesus
Amen
My Lord and Father
Thank you for this day that you gave to us. A day set aside for us to gather ourselves togeather to worship and praise you. A day for us to renew and refresh and revive , a day for us all to gain strength and to give our testimony and be blessed with songs and to be fed with your annointed word.
I ask my Lord that each person be lifted, let their lives be enriched, may each person pull up to your table and dine, and may they leave better and happier than they came.
Please touch and annoint-our singers, our musicians, our Sunday School teachers and our pastor.
Thank You,
In the name of Jesus
Amen
Thursday, September 27, 2007
213.8-What can I say-I knew it would catch up to me
I have so enjoyed this day, I got up this morning praising God as I came awake. That is always such a wonderful way to wake up.
I did 10 minutes of hand weights using increased weights, and then 30 minutes of arobics, and 4 minutes of stretching. Then the computer and as soon as it got lighjt enough outside I put on my boots and went walking through the woods. It was so foggy I could not see but about 20 feet in frount of me, and it smelled fresh and healthy. I loved it and I prayed and worshipped as I walked.
My boots were soaked through when I got back and I had to take the inserts out and turn them over the vent to dry them out. And then I showered and I felt so good about all of that hard work. I came in and like I said I showered and got cleaned up, straightened a bit in the house read my bible and made some lemon bars for dh to take to the men's meeting tonight and then. I put a pair of old boots on and went walking again through the woods. It was hot but it just smelled so good and the birds were sweet and at one place there were dozens of tiny yellow butterflys swooping and floating all around me,. I loved it - God is so wonderful to me he gives me fresh air, yellow butterflys and green trees that keep the air sweet for me to breathe.
I must get some control over my appetite. It does not seem that I am eating a lot of food but I feel bloated and like my tummy is going to start rebelling. I must get back into some sort of control. I must I MUST - I MUST - I MUST.
Will yelling at me do any good? I don't know but everyone that reads this please pray or yell anything please send me you best wishes.
I need to start back to counting calories , I willstill go over sometimes but at least I will have an idea of where i am messing up at.
Dear Lord
I am a flawed and broken vessel and I pray my God that you would pick up this piece of clay and mold me and make me again to be strong and prepare me the be a sanctuary for you. Greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world. With God all things are possible because He is the God of the impossible.
Praise His holy name,
In the name of Jesus
Amen
I did 10 minutes of hand weights using increased weights, and then 30 minutes of arobics, and 4 minutes of stretching. Then the computer and as soon as it got lighjt enough outside I put on my boots and went walking through the woods. It was so foggy I could not see but about 20 feet in frount of me, and it smelled fresh and healthy. I loved it and I prayed and worshipped as I walked.
My boots were soaked through when I got back and I had to take the inserts out and turn them over the vent to dry them out. And then I showered and I felt so good about all of that hard work. I came in and like I said I showered and got cleaned up, straightened a bit in the house read my bible and made some lemon bars for dh to take to the men's meeting tonight and then. I put a pair of old boots on and went walking again through the woods. It was hot but it just smelled so good and the birds were sweet and at one place there were dozens of tiny yellow butterflys swooping and floating all around me,. I loved it - God is so wonderful to me he gives me fresh air, yellow butterflys and green trees that keep the air sweet for me to breathe.
I must get some control over my appetite. It does not seem that I am eating a lot of food but I feel bloated and like my tummy is going to start rebelling. I must get back into some sort of control. I must I MUST - I MUST - I MUST.
Will yelling at me do any good? I don't know but everyone that reads this please pray or yell anything please send me you best wishes.
I need to start back to counting calories , I willstill go over sometimes but at least I will have an idea of where i am messing up at.
Dear Lord
I am a flawed and broken vessel and I pray my God that you would pick up this piece of clay and mold me and make me again to be strong and prepare me the be a sanctuary for you. Greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world. With God all things are possible because He is the God of the impossible.
Praise His holy name,
In the name of Jesus
Amen
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
214.0-back of hand laid to forehead "woe is me"
I am not really down about this-not the first time but I am not going to even act like I am so put upon to be gaining. I knew that the fluid I drank and drank and drank day before yesterday would catch up with me eventually. But really I know what i have been doing with my food. I have been eating enough to go into hybernation. I knowt hat for what ever reason is in my subconscoius I am turning to food to sooth my upset mood/ego/sub conscious whatever.
I must figure it out soon or a lot of damage will be done to me.
Last night dh and I went to a revival and it was so good. ANd on the way home dh said he had to go back to Manning and check to see if he had cut off the flood lights that lights up the owrk area . So he dropped me off and he grabbed keys to the house and flashlight and off he goes. It took almost 2 hours for round trip and so I stayed up till he got here and by that time I was interested in a show on tv and I stayed up later.
I went to bed after movie and slept a bit later this morning, but when I woke it seemed like I could here my Lord say "Child it's time to wke up. I am ready for our talk. I love you and I want to spend some time with you" What a wonderful way to wake up. I got up and I spent time with my God He is so wonderful to me and so faithful to keep His promises. How could I not love Him.
God bless you all,
love you all,
and I pray for you,
each of you that
reads this. May
my Lord bless you
according to His will.
Amen
I must figure it out soon or a lot of damage will be done to me.
Last night dh and I went to a revival and it was so good. ANd on the way home dh said he had to go back to Manning and check to see if he had cut off the flood lights that lights up the owrk area . So he dropped me off and he grabbed keys to the house and flashlight and off he goes. It took almost 2 hours for round trip and so I stayed up till he got here and by that time I was interested in a show on tv and I stayed up later.
I went to bed after movie and slept a bit later this morning, but when I woke it seemed like I could here my Lord say "Child it's time to wke up. I am ready for our talk. I love you and I want to spend some time with you" What a wonderful way to wake up. I got up and I spent time with my God He is so wonderful to me and so faithful to keep His promises. How could I not love Him.
God bless you all,
love you all,
and I pray for you,
each of you that
reads this. May
my Lord bless you
according to His will.
Amen
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
The U in Jesus
I didn't write this, I found it on the computer and just copied and pasted it. If anyone knows who wrote it, please let me know so that I can give the person credit for this poem.
The U in Jesus
Before U were thought of or time had begun,
God even stuck U in the name of His Son.
And each time U pray, you'll see it's true
You can't spell out JesUs and not include U.
You're a pretty big part of His wonderful name,
For U, He was born; that's why He came.
And His great love for U is the reason He died.
It even takes U to spell crUcified.
Isn't it thrilling and splendidly grand
He rose from the dead, with U in His plan?
The stones split away, the gold trUmpet blew,
and this word resUrrection is spelled with a U.
When JesUs left earth at His upward ascension,
He felt there was one thing He just had to mention.
"Go into the world and tell them it's true
That I love them all - Just like I love U."
So many great people are spelled with a U,
Don't they have a right to know JesUs too?
It all depends now on what U will do,
He'd like them to know,But it all starts with U.
The U in Jesus
Before U were thought of or time had begun,
God even stuck U in the name of His Son.
And each time U pray, you'll see it's true
You can't spell out JesUs and not include U.
You're a pretty big part of His wonderful name,
For U, He was born; that's why He came.
And His great love for U is the reason He died.
It even takes U to spell crUcified.
Isn't it thrilling and splendidly grand
He rose from the dead, with U in His plan?
The stones split away, the gold trUmpet blew,
and this word resUrrection is spelled with a U.
When JesUs left earth at His upward ascension,
He felt there was one thing He just had to mention.
"Go into the world and tell them it's true
That I love them all - Just like I love U."
So many great people are spelled with a U,
Don't they have a right to know JesUs too?
It all depends now on what U will do,
He'd like them to know,But it all starts with U.
211.8-thoughts about this and that
Good morning
Dear Lord
Father above, thank you this day for giving to me a bible verse as I woke up. I know that you have a plan and I know that your plan is supreme. The bible verse you gave me was
"the steps of a rightous man is ordered by God" I don't think I have that like it is in the bible but the meaning is clear. You direct our footsteps, we must humble ourselves and tender our heart to hear you but I know that with my hand in Yours "all things work togeather for them that love the Lord" and that "You will perfect that which concerneth me"
Weight was up just a touch this morning and truthfully I am glad it is only up a touch. I mowed yesterday and got way overheated and could not get enough to drink. I drank about 3 sixteen ounce glasses of tea and water over a couple of hours and it was not going through me, (no bathroom visits) so I knew that my cells were absorbing that fluid like an old dried up sponge. I told dh that I would probably weigh 4 or 5 pounds more this morning. I am happy it was only 2 ounces. I suppose that it could still come and be there in the morning, but I will not beat myself up over it-I know that it will be temporary. Just looking at it will be a little depressing but I am going to try not to let it affect me.
Thought from the past:
I was born the 5th child in a family of 8 people. Mom dad, sister, brother, brother, brother, me, brother. There would have been 10 children but mom lost 4 and from the way she talked she was glad of it. In fact a lot of the time I think she would have been hapier had she been barren. She has told me she wished I had never been born.
Our life was drab and colorless. No color in our house or emotions (except anger) our clothes were drab our play was colorless and quiet we were not encouraged to be children in fact we were yelled at and called names and just emotionally abused. I was emotionally and physically and sexually abused by my father and my mom thought nothing of telling me I was stupid and ugly and fat. See no joyous color in our lives, just misery.
Now that was all we were used to and you don't miss what you don't have. I did not know there was color in the world.
BUT
Wonderful word
BUT
One day in the 3rd grade a little girl brought some red fingernail polish to school. AND SHE PAINTED ALL OF MY FINGERNAILS. What a beautiful gift to give to me. I had a red bird on my fingers, there set a red and beautiful sunset. There was a smile in the form of a color. There was beauty on my hand. Nothing can describe the joy I felt in looking at this tiny piece of color on my fingernails. I had bitten my nails for years so the nails were just tiny tiny pieces but she had painted each minuscule pices of nails that bright sunshiny color. Looking back on it if I had known about angels I would have sworn that my nails had been kissed by angels.
I proudly went home with my fingers that I looked at and smiled at. Not because I was proud of me but I was proud that such color existed and I was so lucky to have a bit of this color.
I came in and proudly said "Look, look what I was given at school"
And the floodgates of hell opened on me, and the wrath of the satan came down on my 8/9yr. old shoulders. I was yelled at and called stupid and beaten and I had to take a nail and scrape each precious speck of color off of my hands. Such horror that not only was I having to remove the color but I could not even keep the tiny specks. I had to throw them away.
I was called whore because I thought the color was so pretty. I did not know what the word meant. My dad sexually abusing me and him beating me for wearing polish. The irony was lost on me at that time but I do get it today.
To this day I love color, red and green and blue and yellow and orange, so much emotion can be displayed when you use the right color. I love yellow it is happy, and red is so joyous, blue is calming and green is lively. Everyone looks at color a different way.
This story is sad and it is also happy, I was abused but now I am not .
I once was a lost and unhappy child and now I am a Christian, and I am no longer lost and my entire world is filled with the color of God's love. He has given to me so much more than my childhood can ever take away.
He is the father I never had, He is my protector and my high tower. He is my rock and my best friend. He is the one that I run to when I need a solid foundation. He is my God and I love Him. He is the one that is unchanging and He loves me. His love for me lifts me above what was done to me and gives me a hope for the future-a hope for my eternity.
Praise His name for removing all of the hurt and pain and self hatred that was given to me by parents who did not know how they were supposed to treat their children.
Dear Lord
Thank You for your grace and your faithfullness in delivering me from the hands of Satan.
In the name of Jesus
Amen
Dear Lord
Father above, thank you this day for giving to me a bible verse as I woke up. I know that you have a plan and I know that your plan is supreme. The bible verse you gave me was
"the steps of a rightous man is ordered by God" I don't think I have that like it is in the bible but the meaning is clear. You direct our footsteps, we must humble ourselves and tender our heart to hear you but I know that with my hand in Yours "all things work togeather for them that love the Lord" and that "You will perfect that which concerneth me"
Weight was up just a touch this morning and truthfully I am glad it is only up a touch. I mowed yesterday and got way overheated and could not get enough to drink. I drank about 3 sixteen ounce glasses of tea and water over a couple of hours and it was not going through me, (no bathroom visits) so I knew that my cells were absorbing that fluid like an old dried up sponge. I told dh that I would probably weigh 4 or 5 pounds more this morning. I am happy it was only 2 ounces. I suppose that it could still come and be there in the morning, but I will not beat myself up over it-I know that it will be temporary. Just looking at it will be a little depressing but I am going to try not to let it affect me.
Thought from the past:
I was born the 5th child in a family of 8 people. Mom dad, sister, brother, brother, brother, me, brother. There would have been 10 children but mom lost 4 and from the way she talked she was glad of it. In fact a lot of the time I think she would have been hapier had she been barren. She has told me she wished I had never been born.
Our life was drab and colorless. No color in our house or emotions (except anger) our clothes were drab our play was colorless and quiet we were not encouraged to be children in fact we were yelled at and called names and just emotionally abused. I was emotionally and physically and sexually abused by my father and my mom thought nothing of telling me I was stupid and ugly and fat. See no joyous color in our lives, just misery.
Now that was all we were used to and you don't miss what you don't have. I did not know there was color in the world.
BUT
Wonderful word
BUT
One day in the 3rd grade a little girl brought some red fingernail polish to school. AND SHE PAINTED ALL OF MY FINGERNAILS. What a beautiful gift to give to me. I had a red bird on my fingers, there set a red and beautiful sunset. There was a smile in the form of a color. There was beauty on my hand. Nothing can describe the joy I felt in looking at this tiny piece of color on my fingernails. I had bitten my nails for years so the nails were just tiny tiny pieces but she had painted each minuscule pices of nails that bright sunshiny color. Looking back on it if I had known about angels I would have sworn that my nails had been kissed by angels.
I proudly went home with my fingers that I looked at and smiled at. Not because I was proud of me but I was proud that such color existed and I was so lucky to have a bit of this color.
I came in and proudly said "Look, look what I was given at school"
And the floodgates of hell opened on me, and the wrath of the satan came down on my 8/9yr. old shoulders. I was yelled at and called stupid and beaten and I had to take a nail and scrape each precious speck of color off of my hands. Such horror that not only was I having to remove the color but I could not even keep the tiny specks. I had to throw them away.
I was called whore because I thought the color was so pretty. I did not know what the word meant. My dad sexually abusing me and him beating me for wearing polish. The irony was lost on me at that time but I do get it today.
To this day I love color, red and green and blue and yellow and orange, so much emotion can be displayed when you use the right color. I love yellow it is happy, and red is so joyous, blue is calming and green is lively. Everyone looks at color a different way.
This story is sad and it is also happy, I was abused but now I am not .
I once was a lost and unhappy child and now I am a Christian, and I am no longer lost and my entire world is filled with the color of God's love. He has given to me so much more than my childhood can ever take away.
He is the father I never had, He is my protector and my high tower. He is my rock and my best friend. He is the one that I run to when I need a solid foundation. He is my God and I love Him. He is the one that is unchanging and He loves me. His love for me lifts me above what was done to me and gives me a hope for the future-a hope for my eternity.
Praise His name for removing all of the hurt and pain and self hatred that was given to me by parents who did not know how they were supposed to treat their children.
Dear Lord
Thank You for your grace and your faithfullness in delivering me from the hands of Satan.
In the name of Jesus
Amen
Monday, September 24, 2007
211.6-My thoughts on *could-have-been*
Good morning and I am determined that it shall be just that regardless-----
I woke up this morning at 3 am and went to the bathroom---------just a little side note stuck here and interrupting the smooth flow of thoughts--------you know ai wish there was a prettier way to say bathroom, I kinda like loo but really how many people know that loo means bathroom, I like ladies room but takes way more energy to type than is pleasant, in other words a short word that sounds adult ~ not juvenile~ and sounds clean and sounds acceptable-----------------------When I went back to bed I could not sleep and I began praying -------another side note---------I really do love to wake up like that and just lay there praying and whispering to my Lord, sometime I will get out of bed and kneel in His presence. That is a most glorious feeling, it's dark and quiet and you don't hear traffic outside, just lovely. I thought about how yesterday went such a wonderful day worshipping God and being with others that love God.
So I rolled out of bed at aroung 4"45 and dressed, and went to the kitchen and straightened a bit and thought about the changes to my exercises that I am going to make. I increased my hand weights to 7 pounds and I will be doing at least 30 min of sometype of arobics every day to keep my heart stamina up. And the weights are to increase muscle and to give me some weight bearing exercises. We must be diligent in protecting this valuable living machine. It has to be well taken care of if we expect it to last in good shape for the rest of our lives. To day I did 30 min. of arobics already and 10 min of my new workout with my hand weights. That was challenging also I will be mowing today. I think this will be the last time that I will mow grass this summer, however I will be using the mower to pick up falling leaves and small grass withmy grass catcher until the leaves stop falling.
So as you can see I am having a fairly happy maorning and dh got up and exercised with me as I told him all the new stuff I had read about how to maximize our workout and not necessarily reduce the exercise time but to improve our exercise results. That is always a good thing
(insert *could-have-been* here)
No really I am insistant that it will be a good day
So he showered, and got ready for work and I fixed a sandwich of 2 egg whites and 1 whole egg, and 2 whole wheat slices of bread and one small apple and one cup of coffee, and one protein shake.
So he packed his lunch no big deall just put fruit and small can of tuna and crackers, in a bag, then he went to the truck and came back in saying he forgot to take his vitamins and i reminded him of his protein drink and he snapped at me, he said he hadn't thought of it. I said well now you have -this drink has much protein in it (hence the name-protein drink hahaha) I told him calmly now you have and he snapped again. and I stood there less than one minute holding the drink and I calmly set it down and calmly walked out of the room. No point in letting it excalate into something that we would both regret.
I pray that he will not let this attitude be with him all day long. He will have a miserable day if he holds onto his irritability.
I refuse to do it, today is the day that the Lord has made, I will not sully it with the pettiness of this world.And trust me this is petty, hurt my feeling for a bit but still it is petty.
And now dear readers I am going to close this diary and I am going outside to worship. My back yard is surrounded by trees, and I love being in Gods wonderful outdoors and lift my voice to him in praise and love. I am going to spray with bug spray because I know the mizquitos (spelled wrong) will be bad. Oh well for every beautiful rose there is always a few thorns,
I go to worship.
My God bless and keep each of you in His arms this day
Don't forget to tell the Lord you love Him
Dear God
I love you
I worship you
I praise you
Amen
I woke up this morning at 3 am and went to the bathroom---------just a little side note stuck here and interrupting the smooth flow of thoughts--------you know ai wish there was a prettier way to say bathroom, I kinda like loo but really how many people know that loo means bathroom, I like ladies room but takes way more energy to type than is pleasant, in other words a short word that sounds adult ~ not juvenile~ and sounds clean and sounds acceptable-----------------------When I went back to bed I could not sleep and I began praying -------another side note---------I really do love to wake up like that and just lay there praying and whispering to my Lord, sometime I will get out of bed and kneel in His presence. That is a most glorious feeling, it's dark and quiet and you don't hear traffic outside, just lovely. I thought about how yesterday went such a wonderful day worshipping God and being with others that love God.
So I rolled out of bed at aroung 4"45 and dressed, and went to the kitchen and straightened a bit and thought about the changes to my exercises that I am going to make. I increased my hand weights to 7 pounds and I will be doing at least 30 min of sometype of arobics every day to keep my heart stamina up. And the weights are to increase muscle and to give me some weight bearing exercises. We must be diligent in protecting this valuable living machine. It has to be well taken care of if we expect it to last in good shape for the rest of our lives. To day I did 30 min. of arobics already and 10 min of my new workout with my hand weights. That was challenging also I will be mowing today. I think this will be the last time that I will mow grass this summer, however I will be using the mower to pick up falling leaves and small grass withmy grass catcher until the leaves stop falling.
So as you can see I am having a fairly happy maorning and dh got up and exercised with me as I told him all the new stuff I had read about how to maximize our workout and not necessarily reduce the exercise time but to improve our exercise results. That is always a good thing
(insert *could-have-been* here)
No really I am insistant that it will be a good day
So he showered, and got ready for work and I fixed a sandwich of 2 egg whites and 1 whole egg, and 2 whole wheat slices of bread and one small apple and one cup of coffee, and one protein shake.
So he packed his lunch no big deall just put fruit and small can of tuna and crackers, in a bag, then he went to the truck and came back in saying he forgot to take his vitamins and i reminded him of his protein drink and he snapped at me, he said he hadn't thought of it. I said well now you have -this drink has much protein in it (hence the name-protein drink hahaha) I told him calmly now you have and he snapped again. and I stood there less than one minute holding the drink and I calmly set it down and calmly walked out of the room. No point in letting it excalate into something that we would both regret.
I pray that he will not let this attitude be with him all day long. He will have a miserable day if he holds onto his irritability.
I refuse to do it, today is the day that the Lord has made, I will not sully it with the pettiness of this world.And trust me this is petty, hurt my feeling for a bit but still it is petty.
And now dear readers I am going to close this diary and I am going outside to worship. My back yard is surrounded by trees, and I love being in Gods wonderful outdoors and lift my voice to him in praise and love. I am going to spray with bug spray because I know the mizquitos (spelled wrong) will be bad. Oh well for every beautiful rose there is always a few thorns,
I go to worship.
My God bless and keep each of you in His arms this day
Don't forget to tell the Lord you love Him
Dear God
I love you
I worship you
I praise you
Amen
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Dear God
Lord I told you this morning in church that I love you, I thanked you for this day. You see God, I feel like this day is a gift You have given to me. I treasure this day because it is something that you gave to me. You Lord told me to take this day and enjoy it. I wish to use this day to tell you how much I love you. You have given to me abundantly. All I have to give you is me. I give to you my praisews and your word says that you will take the praises of your children andput them in the storehouse of the Lord. I wish I could give praises to you that were beautiful and that I could somehow make them more attractive. So Lord read my heart and God take every word that I utter and accept it as being the only thing I have for you.
Lord I also read in your book that you will take the praises of your children and that you will enhabit those praises. So where our praises are then that is where you will be.
I want you here Lord I want to be in your presence so I sing my praises aloud to you, I praise you
Let every thing within me praise you
Praise God
Praise God
I worship you
I love you
I praise you.
I will enter His gates with Thanks giving in my heart
I will enter His gates with paraise
I will say this is the day that the Lord has made
I will rejoice for He has made me glad
He has made me glad
He has made me glad
I will rejoice for He has made me gla-a-ad
He has made me glad
He has made me glad
I will rejoice for He has made me glad
Praise Him
I will praise Him
I will praise His mercy and His goodness
I will thank Him for His love
and His faithfullness.
The sunshine is beautiful, but Lord Your Son shine is beyond compare. The flowers you made are pretty
but Your glory is beyond compare.
Your very name is music to my ears, and your promises are my hope for the future.
Annoit the service tonight My wonderful Father. As we sing your praises let every heart be opened for the message into which You have breathed life. Let Your living waters nourish each person that sits in the vestibule. May people come tonight so that they can feast at your table.
And Lord please call my two children to your side. Let them have a hunger for you that only your love can quench.
In the name of Jesus Christ
Amen
Lord I also read in your book that you will take the praises of your children and that you will enhabit those praises. So where our praises are then that is where you will be.
I want you here Lord I want to be in your presence so I sing my praises aloud to you, I praise you
Let every thing within me praise you
Praise God
Praise God
I worship you
I love you
I praise you.
I will enter His gates with Thanks giving in my heart
I will enter His gates with paraise
I will say this is the day that the Lord has made
I will rejoice for He has made me glad
He has made me glad
He has made me glad
I will rejoice for He has made me gla-a-ad
He has made me glad
He has made me glad
I will rejoice for He has made me glad
Praise Him
I will praise Him
I will praise His mercy and His goodness
I will thank Him for His love
and His faithfullness.
The sunshine is beautiful, but Lord Your Son shine is beyond compare. The flowers you made are pretty
but Your glory is beyond compare.
Your very name is music to my ears, and your promises are my hope for the future.
Annoit the service tonight My wonderful Father. As we sing your praises let every heart be opened for the message into which You have breathed life. Let Your living waters nourish each person that sits in the vestibule. May people come tonight so that they can feast at your table.
And Lord please call my two children to your side. Let them have a hunger for you that only your love can quench.
In the name of Jesus Christ
Amen
Saturday, September 22, 2007
I didn't write this but I do like it
- Moses stuttered
– David’s armor didn’t fit.
— John Mark was rejected by Paul.
—- Hosea’s wife was a prostitute.—–
Amos’ only training was in the school of fig-tree pruning.
—— Jacob was a liar.
——- David had an affair.
——– Solomon was too rich.
——— Abraham was too old.
———- David was too young.
———– Timothy had ulcers.
———— Peter was afraid of death.
————- Lazarus was dead.
————– John was self-righteous.
————— Jesus was too poor.
————– Naomi was a widow.
————- Paul was a murderer.
So was Moses.
———— Jonah ran from God.
———–Miriam was a gossip.
———- Gideon and Thomas both doubted.
——— Jeremiah was depressed and suicidal.
——– Elijah was burned out.
——- John the Baptist was a loudmouth.
—— Martha was a worry-wart.
—– Mary was lazy.
—- Samson had long hair.
— Noah got drunk.
– Did I mention that Moses had a short fuse?
- So did Peter, Paul
- well, lots of folks did.
— But God doesn’t require a job interview.
– He doesn’t hire and fire like most bosses,
– Because He’s more our Dad than our Boss.
– He doesn’t look at financial gain or loss.
– He’s not prejudiced or partial,
– Not judging, grudging, sassy, or brassy,
– Not deaf to our cry,
– Not blind to our need
(Author unknown)
– David’s armor didn’t fit.
— John Mark was rejected by Paul.
—- Hosea’s wife was a prostitute.—–
Amos’ only training was in the school of fig-tree pruning.
—— Jacob was a liar.
——- David had an affair.
——– Solomon was too rich.
——— Abraham was too old.
———- David was too young.
———– Timothy had ulcers.
———— Peter was afraid of death.
————- Lazarus was dead.
————– John was self-righteous.
————— Jesus was too poor.
————– Naomi was a widow.
————- Paul was a murderer.
So was Moses.
———— Jonah ran from God.
———–Miriam was a gossip.
———- Gideon and Thomas both doubted.
——— Jeremiah was depressed and suicidal.
——– Elijah was burned out.
——- John the Baptist was a loudmouth.
—— Martha was a worry-wart.
—– Mary was lazy.
—- Samson had long hair.
— Noah got drunk.
– Did I mention that Moses had a short fuse?
- So did Peter, Paul
- well, lots of folks did.
— But God doesn’t require a job interview.
– He doesn’t hire and fire like most bosses,
– Because He’s more our Dad than our Boss.
– He doesn’t look at financial gain or loss.
– He’s not prejudiced or partial,
– Not judging, grudging, sassy, or brassy,
– Not deaf to our cry,
– Not blind to our need
(Author unknown)
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
212.8-It's been a few days
I have skipped a few days in my writing but I have been so busy, I hope, dear diary, that you will forgive me for ignoring you? lol
OK here i go I hope I do not forget anything.
I don't remember when I wrote last but a lot has happened.
I was reelected to be President of the Golden Harvestors. Man I went to people and told them to vote for someone else I even suggested who they should vote for. I prayed about this and asked the Lord to let someone else be voted in. I said I would take it as a sign that He would allow me to go to another church. So I even tried to get every one to vote for someone else and what happens?????It's me again.
Please don't get me wrong I truly enjoyed being the leader, I learned a lot of skills I learned how to pray for each one their needs and desires, I learned organizational skills and leadership skills. I learned how to write lengthy and interestubg (I hope) devotionals. It was a good learning experience for me. BUT I know that my life concerning sister and mama would be less stressful if I were not president. They have been trying to bring me down since I was elected last year and it is more stress than I want to handle.
But God in his infinite wisdom has let His will be known to me, and for what ever reason I am here in this church. He has a purpose for it all and I accept His will in my life. God is good a gracious and I accept His will knowing that it is for the good and that He will not put more on me than I can bear. To His name goes all glory.
Dh and I have been going to singings and revivals every day for almost two weeks and it is still continuing. What a glorious way to spend our time. I like it so much better than sitting here at home watching stuff on tv that is not healthy food for our spirits. That is another prayer for us to bring before the Lord. Help us to make wiser choices in our entertainment areas.
I healr from Gilia church and and they want me to give a devotional for their womens ministries meeting. I am so excited about it. Not for me -but for the opportunity to give God glory and praise. How wonderful that this loving and graceful and faithful Lord would reach down His hands for me, I was an athiest and He saw where I was , He sought me out and called my name. I had a choice I could have ignored His loving voice, but I made the right choice, I placed my hand in His and my life has been a lot happpier since I chose the Lord over this miserable world.
Yes I still live in this world but NOW I have my Lord to turn to knowing that He loves me. It does not get any better here on this earth, the only way it will get better is when I step through those gates and see the face of my Lord. What a glorious day that will be.
I have had baby here since Yesterday morning, dd has spent the night here two nights now and she gets up and goes to work and I have not exercised since Sun. DD and her husband are both working a lot right now They go in early and they work late so it is just easier to come here spend the night and that way they do not have to drag the baby out so early. I do try to get my steps in mostly just walking and playing with the baby. At least it is something I have not given up on my exercise at all. But my eating seems to be spiraling up and up and up and ad nausium. I know that I am slowing down in my weight loss, I still pray about it. If anyone reads this say a little prayer for me please.
This week we are having a revival at my church. I take the baby becasue I really want to go to the preaching. I don't get quite as much out of it if I did not have him with me -after all he is only 2 yrs. old and he will act like a two yr. old. But I still get a blessing and God sees me stepping out and going to His house when it really would be easier to stay at home. He sees that I love Him and I am willing to be a little distracted in order to hear His word.
Small prayer
Lord -please bless the revival, and annoint the preachers and the testimonies and the singing. Let hearts be softened and spirits revived. Oh God let lives be changed. Let the praises ring and the joy be felt by all.
Amen
I have started a sister blog to this one. If anyone wants to read my writing search my profile and you will find it. Actually I have two sister blogs one is for my devotionals/speeches and the other is going to be about unusual things that happen to me, things that I can not find a rational explanation for. I know that some of them will seem like I am dreaming or that I am under some sort of mind altering drug, but I promise you that these things happened and that I was not hallucinating.
I had to take a 3 hour break from typing and I talked to my sister and my mom and a dear friend from another church, Alice. I thank God for letting her come into my life for she has been a blessing to me.
I think I have updated my journal on all the important things that happened to me in the last few days.
If I forgot anything then truly it could not have been all that important.
May God bless you all
OK here i go I hope I do not forget anything.
I don't remember when I wrote last but a lot has happened.
I was reelected to be President of the Golden Harvestors. Man I went to people and told them to vote for someone else I even suggested who they should vote for. I prayed about this and asked the Lord to let someone else be voted in. I said I would take it as a sign that He would allow me to go to another church. So I even tried to get every one to vote for someone else and what happens?????It's me again.
Please don't get me wrong I truly enjoyed being the leader, I learned a lot of skills I learned how to pray for each one their needs and desires, I learned organizational skills and leadership skills. I learned how to write lengthy and interestubg (I hope) devotionals. It was a good learning experience for me. BUT I know that my life concerning sister and mama would be less stressful if I were not president. They have been trying to bring me down since I was elected last year and it is more stress than I want to handle.
But God in his infinite wisdom has let His will be known to me, and for what ever reason I am here in this church. He has a purpose for it all and I accept His will in my life. God is good a gracious and I accept His will knowing that it is for the good and that He will not put more on me than I can bear. To His name goes all glory.
Dh and I have been going to singings and revivals every day for almost two weeks and it is still continuing. What a glorious way to spend our time. I like it so much better than sitting here at home watching stuff on tv that is not healthy food for our spirits. That is another prayer for us to bring before the Lord. Help us to make wiser choices in our entertainment areas.
I healr from Gilia church and and they want me to give a devotional for their womens ministries meeting. I am so excited about it. Not for me -but for the opportunity to give God glory and praise. How wonderful that this loving and graceful and faithful Lord would reach down His hands for me, I was an athiest and He saw where I was , He sought me out and called my name. I had a choice I could have ignored His loving voice, but I made the right choice, I placed my hand in His and my life has been a lot happpier since I chose the Lord over this miserable world.
Yes I still live in this world but NOW I have my Lord to turn to knowing that He loves me. It does not get any better here on this earth, the only way it will get better is when I step through those gates and see the face of my Lord. What a glorious day that will be.
I have had baby here since Yesterday morning, dd has spent the night here two nights now and she gets up and goes to work and I have not exercised since Sun. DD and her husband are both working a lot right now They go in early and they work late so it is just easier to come here spend the night and that way they do not have to drag the baby out so early. I do try to get my steps in mostly just walking and playing with the baby. At least it is something I have not given up on my exercise at all. But my eating seems to be spiraling up and up and up and ad nausium. I know that I am slowing down in my weight loss, I still pray about it. If anyone reads this say a little prayer for me please.
This week we are having a revival at my church. I take the baby becasue I really want to go to the preaching. I don't get quite as much out of it if I did not have him with me -after all he is only 2 yrs. old and he will act like a two yr. old. But I still get a blessing and God sees me stepping out and going to His house when it really would be easier to stay at home. He sees that I love Him and I am willing to be a little distracted in order to hear His word.
Small prayer
Lord -please bless the revival, and annoint the preachers and the testimonies and the singing. Let hearts be softened and spirits revived. Oh God let lives be changed. Let the praises ring and the joy be felt by all.
Amen
I have started a sister blog to this one. If anyone wants to read my writing search my profile and you will find it. Actually I have two sister blogs one is for my devotionals/speeches and the other is going to be about unusual things that happen to me, things that I can not find a rational explanation for. I know that some of them will seem like I am dreaming or that I am under some sort of mind altering drug, but I promise you that these things happened and that I was not hallucinating.
I had to take a 3 hour break from typing and I talked to my sister and my mom and a dear friend from another church, Alice. I thank God for letting her come into my life for she has been a blessing to me.
I think I have updated my journal on all the important things that happened to me in the last few days.
If I forgot anything then truly it could not have been all that important.
May God bless you all
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