I sit here with tears in my eyes because my sister is telling people that she is not going to the meetings because I don't want her and her grandbaby there. THat is not the truth, it is also not exactly a lie either. She would go with her grandchild and let her 2 yr. old just run wild and cry and yell while people were giving the devotional or praying. She would litterally let her grand-d run all about the fellowship hall regardless of what was being done. No, I did not want that going on. And now she is telling people that it is my fault that she is not going.
I know that all of that is a trick of the devil to get my heart stirred up and hurting. That does not make me feel better. I still hurt.
I want to quit going to that church so bad, I am so ready to just walk away. I have tried to leave so many times and each time that I go to a different church I hear God in my spirit telling me that I am supposed to be at LCCOG. I have heard Him say in my heart that he has plans for me and if I leave He can not give me those plans.
Since last Wednesday 5 different people have sent me Jermiah 29:11---
"For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope."
The first time was at a religious site I am a member of, I had told of being invited to a different church to give my testimony, and another member gave me that verse.
Later that day someone else gave it to me, and again another person gave it to me. None of these people knew the others and they did not know that I had already been given the verse by someone else.
At church on Sunday, we had a visiting speaker and that person mentioned that verse and then this morning I visited a different blog and the first paragraph that was wrote was that verse.
I think God is trying to tell me something.
I know all of this and I love God so much and what to stay in His will, but it still hurts for my good to be talked bad about and my first instinct is to run, run anywhere, just run away.
I have given it all to God I lay it at the foot of the cross, I ask Jesus to let His blood cover the hurt and the pain. I ask my Lord to lead and guide me. I ask God to lift me above it. I rebuke satan now in the name of Jesus Christ. I am a child of the King.
Amen.
Please anyone that reads this agree with me in prayer that this matter will be resolved.
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Oh my dear girl. I want to just give you a huge hug and sit and cry together. I haven't had a traumatic experience like that with my church, but hubby and I have been struggling for the last couple of months with the idea of leaving and trying to figure out why exactly we want to, and how to make that decision when the theology isn't wrong and we're not moving away. I'm impressed with your dedication even through hurtful experiences and as soon as I'm done writing this, I will pray for you. I don't have any siblings of my own, but I know how important family is and I pray your sister will look past this to see what's really important and that your relationship can be restored.
ReplyDelete(Found you through Jan's blog)