So many thoughts and not much solutions

I have baby here today but Ijust fel the need to put some of my thoughts down here. I know it will take me a long time because I will have to keep stopping to take care of baby.

I feel so very alone today, I have tried to pray aI have taken it to the Lord but I have no peace from it.

I knowthat this is all minor but I am so tired of my sister talking about me and saying things about how I hate her grandchild I do not hate her grandchild. I got tired of sister calling me and waking my grandchild up so she could tell me about her grandchild. She even calls my mom and tells her about how I hate Katie and I am jealous of Katie. I used to love to go to church early and just sit there and pray in the quiet of the church. When she got her grandchild she started coming to church early and that was ok but then she started talking about me and how I never showed her grandchild attention. I don't go to church to worship Katie i go to worship God. and Now I feel I have to go to another church to get the peace that I should have.

I know she loves her cgandchild I love mine but I do not expect anyone to show attention to my grandchild.

Oh well I am just so lost this morning lost in my thoughts and lost in my direction. My sister pushed me away and she talked to mom in such a way that I pulled away from mom.

And it is all because of Barbara and her mouth. What to do ????

My first instinct is to run and run and run. I am trying to turn it over to the Lord really I am. But this has been going on for months and I see no easing of the hurt that it has caused me.

Dear Lord

Please dear God give me back the joy of my heart give me back my joy in my first love. Satan is a liar and he hates me because I love You. He hates me because You love me.

I rebuke satan in Jesus name.

I pray oh Lord that You would pick me up and settle this problem in what ever way You feel is right. I beg You let me go to another church, I know you have told me several times ---I know I have heard Your voice tell me to "stay where I put you", again I heard you say "I put you there for a purpose" and again I heard You say "I have work for you to do there"

But Lord could I be mistaken in what I am hearing could I be hearing my own mind. Do you have a reason for me to stay there. I am only a 2 yr. old Christian and I am so upset over the way I am being treated and I want to go to some where else. Is anyone out there that reads these blogs? If someone reads this then give me your thoughts.

Lord help me
In Jesus name, Father help me
lift me,
take away my ache and my doubts in myself
strengthen me to do your will
lift me on eagles wings above the problems of this world.
Hold me for a little while and give me peace.

Amen