Tuesday, May 17, 2011

This thing has turned into a run a way train

by Roseanne Cash

Her song is all about love but as I atput piece after piece of  the chocolate that one phrase kept running through my head.  I supppose I was calling my appetite a runa way train it is today anyway.  I can't seem to capture this tiger and get him back in his cage--so many metaphores fit. He is running free and only distruction is left behind him. 

I got a call yesterday file://i/ know it is confusing but the woman that called was the mother of my my dead brother in laws wife.  Now she started off saying she knew I was a Christian and she needed to talk to me.  I being polite said ok.  She started telling me that BIL was a drug dealer and that is how he made a;ll his money (yes he was wealthy BUT he worked all the time,.  )he bought houses and fixed them he drove a bread truck for a local bread company worked himself up in the company and he did mechanic work on the side and he was a Chritian since I knew him.  I do no believe he dealt drugs.  She put him down and put her own daughter down.  I do not understand-she asked me hadn't I heard these things and I said no the only thing I ever heard about BIL was that he haed  aquick temper.  That was it.

Well dh came home about 5 minutes before I got off the phone with her and he heard some of my side of the conversation,. 

Ever since then all I have wanted to do is eat and eat, I do not handle controversy well,  I used to drink bad and I would turn to alcohol and cigarettes,  I have no desire to go back to that, but the one addiction that is acceptable is eating and that is what I what to do.  My heart is hurt and I want to comfort me.

I told dh what she said and he said that he did not think that his brother would do that.  He simply did not believe it.  He would have heard soemthing in the last 10 yrs -some whisper of it if it was true.  She said that BIL had been selling for about 10 yrs.   I don't believe it either. My spirit says he was a good man.    I can understand why this woman would say all these things the day after the mans funeral.


And now I have stepped onto that runaway train.

1 comment:

  1. Unfortunately, I think people with emotional problems can break our hearts. And it is frustrating because there is no way that you can really help them. Some people are really good at involving others in their problems, lack of love, bad attitudes, etc.

    That is when you have to remember that God is God -- and you are not God! Only He can help her.

    Meanwhile, you need to tell God how you feel and then give your feelings and the problem over to Him. If you continue to worry about it, you are only hurting yourself and not "casting all your cares on Him."

    Pray for her that she will find peace in the Lord. Pray that God gives you His forgiveness and love for her. Then let it go.

    After that, you can get back to honoring God in your thoughts, words, and deeds!

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