One month later

This month went quickly,

UPDATE

I have lost 8.2 pounds, I love my digital scales,  it shows to the ounce if I have lost or gained, I have to be careful with that because I think I could let it begin to have control over me and my emotions.

I was given the pill  adipex and I was told to break it in half for a few days, well I continued to half it.  I was really afraid that I would begin to depend on it.

Anyway I have lost weight but I really had to make a few changes.  I know that dr. thought I was fudgeing on how I ate and all that I did but I really was not.  But if I were a dr. looking at someone gaining weight maybe I would feel that way too.  Maybe she has had other patients that did that and she just jumped to that conclusion.

In any event -she does not realize that as a Christian, born again God loving and devoted to my Lord I would not lie to her and would not decieve.   She does not realize that I have a covenant with God and if I do anything to break that covenant I will hurt my Heavenly Father.

So I figured I had to determine soemthing, different to do.  I took the pill and contiued on with what I was doing for over a week and sow no change.  I used MY FITNESS PAL and according to their chart I should have lost a little over a pound, nope did not.

So I began doing more.  Time is not something that I can manufacture when I need more of it, and with all that is on my plate right now I did not have more time to give to more exercise.  So I began running.  Not the bone jarring, all out, breast bumping me in the chin run but faster than a fast walk, but slow enough that my joints would not take a beating.
I found out that I absolutely love the high that comes from running.  I walk a 2 mile round trip and most days I walkit later in the evening, when I have the time I would walk another mile to make it my 5.  At first I could barely run 100 steps and now well yesterday I can run 1/2 mile then I walk fast for  around 100 steps and then run another 1/2 mile.  By that time I have to walk a little more but still I try to run more than I walk and now that my legs are a bit stronger and I have better stamina I don't even stop I immediately start again on another round trip.

Since MY FITNESS PAL keeps up with fat and protein and carbs, I began lowering my carbs -not a lot but I try to keep the number 75 or less;.  So when I began doing these two things the weight started coming off slowly.  I am happy. 

Yesterday dh and I got our puppy. DH is totally in love with this tiny dog, now I can not spell chiwawa I have to look it up everytime but I'm sure you know what I am trying (and failing) to spell.
Daughter calls him Butter Bean, dh calls him BB and I call him lil B,  He is doing reat with his training. has not wet the floor at all and he wimpers when he needs to be put on the pad, or go outside.   But he does not like to be left alone, and I don't know how that will work when all of us has to be gone.    We may need to get him a little stuffed animal to cuddle with when we have to leave him.

God bless,
Have a great day.

my fitness pal

Yesterday morning ealry say 4:00 am grandson woke us up complaing about itching and sure enough it looked like he had been bitten sev eral times.  This morning at 2:20 agaoin on ly tis time it was widespread and looked just like I looked when the hives were trying to cover my body.  So off to the dr. early and seems thaqt he is allergic to something and now he is on steroids to bring down the swelling and something else to reduce the itching.

Now the dr. saw that I was there with the child and after she took care of him she said, that I need to really get something done about my gaining weight (her words were much nicer than mine, I am paraphrasing) and she has put me on a appetite suppresant. I do not like taking pills.  and there are side affects but on the other hand if it helps, will it be worth some diarrea ok I know that is spelled wrong .   I feel myself going into chicken little mode screaming oh no the sky is going to fall.

she wrote the perscription for it, I cant remember the name of it.

the dr. told me about a site on the computer called my fitness pal and how easy it is to keep up with what you eat.  I checked it out and really do like it. and it is easy to learn what to do and how to use it.


That see saw just goes up and down and up and down

Life could be so much worse,

my friends husband has copd, and he has only been given  a matter of months to live. hospice has come in to help out and she told me that she is sitting there day after day watching him slowly die and she feels that she is going to go crazy, watching him deteriorate in front of her eyes.
He is ready to meet the Lord but it is still so hard on her.  Pray for her and him please.

God bless you all
and I pray that we remember to count our blessings every day.

my bucket is being dumped out

you know how when you kick a bucket of water over it all goes out all over the place.  I am not happy with the call from my dr. so here it is


she said that I may be undrestimating my calories (possibly sometimes but not as a general rule-I measure and weigh)  she said that averaged out for the week-I eat more than 1700 calories-possibly but I really do not WANT to think so.  After all if I think that then I also have to say l that I am responsible for my weight and who wants to think that?????

So I have to start weighing and measuring everything and she emphasized everything to get an accurate picture of what I eat-making sure that the majority is totally healthy and cooked without butters or oils.

Also I have to start exercising, now I took in a journal of 8 days wihich is typical of my weeks of food and activity.
Monday is foodbank and after I get home  I usually walk for 1/2 hour
Thesday is mowing w/push mower for 1 hour and then walking
Wed. is mowing and then walking/working out wih hand weights.
Thurs. is food bank and walking
Fri. is finishing mowing and walking
Sat. was walking and house work and laundry etc.-now I have started cleaning condos on Sat.
Sun is the Lords day.

so now along with all that I do I have to start doing situps (crunchs) and stretching etc. and more weights, and maybe I will try some other type of vidio like tae bo. 
It is going to be so dissapointing if it has been my own fault all  along.  In am like adam in the garden, I want to blame someone else.

The bucket is now empty.

Have a blessed day everyone

Really yep

I got an email asking me if I needed enlargement pills.  REALLY 

NO I do not, what I need is shrinking pills  lol

It's Fathers Day

When dh got up I wished him a happy fathers day.  It is 8:30 and I soon need to get dressed because I am going to my Fathers House this morning.  My earthlyfather was not a good person, evil and full of selfishness and cruelty , he came first in all that he did.  he did not let anyone know this but his family knew.  I read one time and I think it was Billy Graham said (I may be wrong about who said it) and I am paraphrasing--The world knows me and speaks well of me but if I die and my own family does not speak well of me then I have failed as a Christian and as a husband, father, etc.

I am so happy that I now have a Father that loves me, that I have a Father that wants the best for me, that listens to me when I talk to Him, that holds me when I hurt and is always there for me-

So to the best and only Father I could ever have or need,  HAPPY FATHERS DAY and God thank you for putting dh and me togeather all those years ago.  He has been a really good husband to me and a terrific father to our 2 children and a wonderful grandfather to our 3 grandchildren.

A friend just said
"it is easier to become a father than it is to be one."   How true

Have a great day everyone
God bless

Sigh

This is hard-

I decided to take a different path for a while and see if I can win a little in this struggle.  I am on Day one of a full induction. I am keeping my carbs down to 10 or less for a few days and then slowly add a couple more per day.  We'll see.   I still am walking every day (unless it rains) most days i get in 5 miles, still working out with weights, still helping out at Harvest Hope/food bank two to 3 days a week and still pushing a mower to cut my grass several hours a week.
Still taking the synthyroid and still gained a pound this week.  I know that everyone says they do not eat that much but I write down everything I eat and it is always below 1800 and most days it is below 1500.   Today it was less than 1300, and carbs were 10. 

We'll see.  I've danced to this tune before and I pray that the results are different this time.  

Sleep well every one. 
God Bless

So far so good

I intended to post yesterday but didn't happen got busy and just forgot.

I have eaten healthy-fresh vegetables, talapia, broccoli, brussel sprouts,  chiken breasts, almonds (although I think I may have to stop with those all togeather.  I know they are healthy but really who can stop at 10-13????) 

My highest calorie  day was a little over 1600 and everyday I did something in the line of exercise.  I walk and push my mower and I go to harvest hope and push and pull and lift and bend. 

Since last Fri.  I have lost almost 2 pounds.  I am so hoping that the higher dosage of the synthyroid will kick in soon and then I will not have to struggle as hard to maintain or lose a pound a week.

Still am having trouble with son in law .  He is the most backward or ignorant or just does not care person I have ever been around.  The man just walks around my house like he owns it, I have closed doors and even locked them and he may be deterred that time but next time he just wanders around.  I am going ot speak to him again today.  He opens my fridge and gets out what he wants,. He looks in my pantry and takes things.  Yesterday he took my energy bars.  I have to search to find bars that does not have flour and the man took them.   

I have had the talk with g-son about people touching him in certain areas.  The other day sol took baby a ball game and let him play iwth other children.  One older boy touched him on his chest and tried to pull his shirt up and it upset g son and he started crying and went to son in law and told him.  Son in law told him to stop crying like girl and go play.  I was furious when grandson told me about it.  I had told grandson that if someone touches him he can go to any of us and we would help him and then that man handles it like that.  Granted the other child probably did not mean any harm but still it is the principle of the thing.


Sometimes I just want to throw my hands in the air and simply scream until I feel better, but I think I may be sreaming a long long time

God bless each of you.

Magic Monday

I woke early with the renewed intense pleasureable urgency that this day is a fresh day and a brand new beginning to a very much repeated dance.

I had to go to Harvest Hope today and I wore my pedometer just to see how many steps I take there and at the distribution center. surprised me----6255 steps.  Now I did not get my usual 10000 plus steps but I did get a lot of lifting and pushing and pulling and bending.  So I go plenty of exercise.  

It is hard for me to eat healthy when I am moving constantly but I ate a few low calorie energy bars, and then when I got home at 3 pm I had a small amount of BBQ  chicken and some green beans and some black eyed peas.  and I had about 1/2 cup cashews and now I am noshing on rice cakes.

So overall I am pleased with todays food choices, and the activity that I did.


ONWARD AND UPWARD (thanks Deb)
Sleep well everyone
God bless

This post may have errors

but I am in a hurry, DIL is coming and I want to talk-write-tell something before she gets here.

THANKS DEB

About 4 weeks ago I started really hurting in my left knee and it got worse day by day until I could barely walk and when I did I had to hold on to something.  I was popping advil like it was candy.

One day I came to my blog and checked out what was happening to my buddies and read Debs blog about splenda.  I thought hey I don't have her problems BUT what if spslenda could be causeing my knee to hurt.  So I worked backward and realized that I was using splenda about 4 days before the kinee pain.  I looked it up and yep there it was splenda does cause joint pain.

I stopped then and within 24 hours the pain became tolerable.  still there but not nearly as bad-on a scale of 1 to 10 the pain was about an 8 and after Istopped the splenda one day the pain was about a 5  two days later it had dropped to a slight ache and now it is gone. TOTALLY gone. 

This post is not about weight loss however I have not lost weight,
I do love God
I worship and adore him.
He is my rock and my high tower and and my redeemer and get this  HE LOVES ME JUST AS I AM AND THAT INCLUDES BEING OVERWEIGHT.

Love you all

I do not like the new format here.


Still am not losing weight, am feeling pretty discouraged at the moment.  I wish the pills would go ahead and do what they are supposed to do.  maybe they are not strong enough. lose a few pounds and then overnight gain them back this has been going on for weeks now. and honestly I don't know what to do about it.  I have lowered my cal;ories and I have tried to eat low carb and I have exercised nearly every day and still the weight will not budge.

the situation with son in law is still not good.  He actually got mad at grandson and said(don't come here again I don't need you"  He asked my daughter that night if she needed him the next day he asked me the same question and of course we told him we do. 

Still working at Harvest Hope twice a week and last Monday I tried to be Superwoman and lift a 50 pound box and tore a minor muscle in my shoulder.  I have babied it along and it is almost back to normal so I think I will be back to being superwoman in about a month :). 

That is my update


God bless you all

I have said it before

if I exercise early it seems to control the beast that lives within me  whose name is" out of control and untamable and trying to make me gain weight appetite" I will give it a nickname of George. No special reason except years ago I watched a bugs bunny cartoon with my little children about and abominable snowman that finds a rabbit (only it was daffy duck) and he names him ;George and he hugs it and rocks it and etc. It is really odd  the funny things that stick in my mind but I have the worlds worst memory for actual peoples faces and  names.

anyway

fact number one-exercise curbs my appetite

fact number two-the calories from the peanut butter m &ms that I ate two weeks ago is not going to be nice and just disappear from my cells simply becasue I regret eating them and have decided I need to lose weight.

fact number 3 -my husband is a male and his body is different from mine(no snickering allowed) and the fact that he loses weight faster than me does not mean that he is working at it harder than I am.

Fact number 4-I want a piece of cream cheese chess bar. and the only thing I can do is try not to think about it.

Fact number 5-Sometimes I want to wallow in a huge vat of "life is not fair"

OK that was my pity party for today
It's someone elses turn tomorrow.

Have a beautiful and blessed day. I promise to be more upbeat next time.

How excited should I get over the loss of one pound :)

Seriously I lost one pound ok lets break this down a bit, 

I went nutso and tried to eat everything in the house last week just in case I needed to hybernate for the upcoming weeks and months of being toatally without food.

On Sat.  I woke up refreshed from the alien that had invaded me, (got to blame something for the out of control actions) made a new (old) plan to go on low carb induction and I did.  So between Sat. morn and this morn I lost 1 pound.It's a good thing and surely a step in the RIGHT direction.  

I broke down last week and actually ate a floured item.  My weakness is sweets you know cake or cookies or fudge,  I did keep it at a minimum but still only a small amount will cause hives.    I am grateful that so far there is not sign of discomfort,

My plans for today is to do laundry first and this afternoon I will push my mower over my backyard.  This is a great workout and I love my backyard, it is peaceful and totally enclosed with trees and privacy bushes and my hyacinths are blooming, my irisis are just starting to bud out and my azalias are in bloom.  Birds are all over the place and I have one semi-tame rabbit that I feed.  

Have a blessed day everyone

Our Father, may everything I do begin with Your
Inspiration,
continue with Your Help,
and reach perfection under Your Guidance.
With Your loving care guide me in my daily actions.
Help me to persevere with love and sincerity.
Teach me to judge wisely the things of earth
and to love the things of Heaven.
Keep me in Your presence
and never let me be separated from You.
Your Spirit made me Your child,
confident to call You Father.
Make Your Love the foundation of my life.
Teach me to long for Heaven.
May its promise and hope guide my way on earth
until I reach eternal life with You.

day 1 and day 2

or is it day 1, 2 and 3?   I think today is the 2nd day,  I sound a bit like I have lost my memory.  but I do have a seriously visually can't miss it,  sinus discomfort.  Not quite a pain and yet not NOT a pain, know what I mean? swollen and bluish looking around my eyes.  Ok it is kinda clownish looking. lol 

You know how most of us what immediate gratification, well stomps foot, I have not lost any weight.

Have a wonderful evening,

repost about smoking

First thing is I started smoking outside and not associate smoking with anything ,I did not smoke and drink coffe or visit with friends, or while on the phone, or watching tv, or anything else.  I chose a tree in my backyard.   I would stand there under an umbrella if it was raining, in the heat and even in the dark.  You have to stop using cigarettes as something that you enjoy,  you have to start making it less pleasant.

You are going to want to smoke, admit it, and just go on from there. I had a pack of those little straws with the coolade stuff in them and those helped with the hand mouth movement. I was told that the hand to mouth habit was just as hard to break as the actual smoking.

Drink lots of water and lots of orange juice, the water flushes toxins from your body and so does the orange juice and the orange juice starts replacing vitamin c that smoking leeches from the body.

When you want a cigarette then you have to do something else to get your mind off of it. The craving does not last but about 3 minutes then it leave. It will come back but again it does not last but about 3 minutes. And the cravings get farther and farther apart.

Find something to do with your hands, like crochet, needlepoint, gameboy, anything that is different from what you have been doing. Try to pinpoint your trigger points and then try to change them.  If you want a cigarette after eating then go for a walk, or water your plants, or play ball with your children or dog.  Anything that you can do to get you past the crave point, just do something else.

My worst time was after eating . So after meals I would get a bottle of water and go for a short walk around my house . Then I started coming to the computer and playing at pogo. Just anything to break the habits.

When I told my dh I was quitting he never smoked in the house again. And it is only in the last couple of weeks that he will smoke in the truck if we are going somewhere. Then he puts the window down a bit, but it no longer entices me, I don't pay it any attention. Then he quit after a few months of me not smoking,

When I want a cigarette, I tell myself sharply NO-I DON'T SMOKE ANY MORE. I know that sounds sounds like it would not work but the sound of my voice out loud kinda reinforces me.

More about the hand to mouth, hand movement is a hard habit to break and the person I talked to said to make your smoking hand into a fist. And at the place where your thumb curls around place your mouth and inhale , hold the breath and then exhale. And that would relieve some of the urge. I thought the only thing this would do would be to make me look stupid, but I was willing to give it a chance so, I did it and it does help a little.

When I quit smoking I had already cut back a little and had already started to drink water and Orange juice, and had started smoking outside,then I got up on May 7 and never smoked at all.

Oh another thing that helped for about 3 months I put my cigaretter money in a clear glass and put that where I could see it. And I kept it and I would look at it when the urge would get bad. That is a visual item that encouraged me to continue on. I finally took the money and dh and I went out celebrate.

I know this is long but one more thing, I have read that people that exercise have a higer chance of quitting smoking than those that do not exercise.

I think 3 to 6 days is all it takes for the nicotine to get out of your body, and after that it is just habit that makes you want a cigarette. So you need to figure out what you can do to break the habits.

I am sure glad we quit.  With the economy as bad as it is  we would really be financially suffering if we still bought cigarettes.  I hope this helps someone.  While these tips are not a magic spell that takes the urge away it does help. 

---

I love My Heavenly Father

I love the Lord and I am so happy that He loves me.

he does not look at me the way I look at me.  I should try to be more like Him and not look at me as a failure. 

Thats it

thats my thought for today

God bless

Happy Monday morning everyone

I went on a diet and this time I did things a little different-I started dieting on Sat.  Now really have you ever heard of anyone starting a diet on a Sat.  Really????  But I knew that I wanted to get some kind aof control and my dd wanted to go on a diet also and she started this morning----but I know me and I knew if I waited until Monday that I would have the mindset of "I'm going on a diet so I better eat all of my favorite foods before Monday."

So two days under the diet belt and it is going really good.  

I started this diet a little different too-a very severe low carb fast almost--mostly eggs and pork and beef.  Last night I had a small salad.  Today I will add another low carb veggie.  I feel good and positive about what I am doing and I know that as long as I keep a positive attitude about what I am doing I have a better chance of success.

My son in law is still coming and staying hour after hour after hour.  I really am tired of it-about 3 weeks ago I told him that when he comes he needs to leave after an hour or two and not come every day.  He rolled his eyes at me and said he came to see his wife and son. Rolling your eyes at me does not make me happy and I told him that if she wanted to be with him she would not be at my house and heneeded to leave.  He had soemthing in his hands and he thru it down on the floor and told baby to get out of his way he was leaving because I was too controlling.   I am stressed to the point of screaming.  It did not do any good at all, he is still coming and staying and staying.

Lets see,  I have been sick with a terrible sinus infection but I think I am on the way to getting better.

I feel almost hypocritical posting a bible verse considering how I am feeling about son in law coming .
but this one keeps coming into my mid so here it is.


King James Bible
And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.


Have a wonderful day
God bless you

Hi remember me?

When was the last time I posted-I should have looked oh well


I finally was able to go to the dr and get my synthyroid started back up how ever the damage was done to my weight. The month before I went to my dr.  I gained 18 pounds I excercised every day and I kept my calories down around 1800 a day, how does a person gain weight like that trying so hard to lose?  thyroid messed up big time.  I had to have a blood test down and sure enough the number was high.  She called in a higher dosage than I had before.  As of now I have lost 4 pounds doing about the same thing that I was doing the month I gained 18 pounds.

My weight since I had to stop the pills has risen from 175 to 216 as of this morning .  It really scared me to gain so much so quickly and I can only praise the Lord for changing our financial circumstances so that I could go back to the dr. 

Daughter is still at my house and I really think she is here to stay.  

I have been neglecting everyones blog and I tried to catch up on everyone today.  I see that many of you are struggling just like I am.  I wish OH I DO WISH that I could make it easy for all of us.  

I still exercise every day

I am halping out more and more at the food bank with all the needy people in our area we are going twice a week to pick up food.  I am the healthiest person there so I do most of the heavylifting.  The way I look at it is, those two days are my days that I set aside for my "weight workout"  I have to lift boxes and some of them weigh as much as 45-50 pounds. 

Deb you and Josie write so very eloquently and I enjoy your posts a lot.   I have missed you both so much and I did not realize how much until I popped in today and started trying to catch up .  

IF YOU PRAY THAT GOD WILL MOVE A
MOUNTAIN AND HE DOESN'T OR YOU HAVE THE
FAITH TO TELL A MOUNTAIN TO MOVE
AND IT WOUN'T, ASSUME THAT CHRIST WANTS
 YOU TO CLIMB IT INSTEAD AND SEE HIM
TRANSFIGURED.  EITHER WAY, THE
MOUNTAIN IS UNDER YOUR FEET.

anonymous

GOD BLESS