185.4, weight gain wish?, mowed, dh gone, brother out of control

pedometer steps  8356

calories for today-probably about 1800

I had another day that I simply could not stop eating,  I hate days like that.  I am allergic to anything that has wheat, oatmeal, cornmeal, and rice, I eat a lot of vegetables and fruit.  I ate all of my calories by 3:00 today but I craved some apple sauce.  Now I put the apple sauce up myself so I know that there is very little sugar added to it.  You have to use some to retain taste and color but I reduced the amount that the recipe called for.  But I still think that I ate way more calories than I usually do.I have had a few times lately that I have an uncontrollable appetite.  I wonder if I have a weight gain wish.  That would be a subconscious wish because I know that my conscious wish is to lose weight.  lol

Today I used my push mower to mow the front yard .  Tomorrow I will clean up the back yard.  I mowed for about an hour,  The leaves were all over my yard and I used a grass catcher to pick up the leaves and it looks so much better.  I was very tired when I got through.  I came inside and showered and put on my night gown.  I was just going to relax the rest of the day.

BUT
BUT
my brother decided to act up over at my moms house.  Now get this,  He is 62 yrs old and after his wife left him and took everything he moved into my moms house.  She is a Christian and she own the place so her rules is to be followed she said no drinking and here comes brother and thinks becasue she is old he can do what he wants to.  He told her a few unkind things today, then came to my house expecting me to have sympathy for him.  I told him he was old enough to make it on his own and mom was old and in bad health and he needed to leave her alone.  He did not like that but that is how I feel.    Anyway when he came here then I had to get dressed.  And now I am tense and jittery .  I do not like to have tension around me.  Never could .  My parents argued all the time and I had a blazing ulcer by the time I was 20. 

Anyway tomorrow I will finish mowing my yard.  I like using the mower to pick up the leaves.  I have several huge trees in my yard and I know that I could rake but I prefet using the mower. 

Today for my food I had squash, salmon, butter beans, garden peas, okra, mixed steamed veggies (sweet peppers, celery, broccoli, carrots, onions) blueberries, and applesauce.

That sounds like a lot of food, but really it wasn't.

sleep well everyone
God bless