Monday, December 13, 2010

emotions and up and down and woe

I usually am very up,  I can see the bright side to so many things and seldom do I get depressed.  I love the Christmas season even when we do not have a lot of money.  Dh is in construction so the winter months has always been slow.  I taught my kids that Christmas was not about what you get but what you give and it had nothing to do with material things.  So right now I am starting to get depressed.  I think it is because I can not seem to get a grip on my diet.  Rigt now it feels hopeless,  I give myself the pep talks as I reach for another apple.  An apple is not that bad, right? but what if you just had a baked pork chop, and some honey carrots, and some garden peas.and some mushrooms?  What if you really did not want an apple but you just felt like you were not satisfied.  I have not felt like this in prbably 2 yrs.  I feel so out of control.

I'm trying to do some self evealuation, I can only come up with the family situaion.  I can not fix the family thing so I eat.  It does not make sense.  If I could just get a few days that I could exercise and eat right I think I wuld get back into the swing of things.    I do not want to gain all that weight back. 

Oh please Lord help me.

God bless. 

(I may come back later and whine some more. After all if I can not whine and complain on my own blog what use is it to have one???? lololol

1 comment:

  1. oh Joy, i'm sorry you're feeling this way. we can't control what other people do, and i think we can't always control how we feel. Christmas is such an emotionally loaded time. if we could all just focus on Jesus and loving like He did, maybe it would be different, but that's not a realistic question. we just have to ready ourselves every day for a fight and call it all joy.

    at least you acknowledge your food struggle. do you count calories? it sounds like you eat a lot of whole foods. that's what i am hoping to start doing when put a real effort in to losing weight, Lord willing. the truth is, right now i'm dieting during the week so i can eat sweets all weekend. i know it's wrong. but it's Christmas, and emotions are running high with family drama, etc.

    i'm praying for you and loving you!

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