Six AM Tuesday morning-

I have been up since 5 am My daughter and grandson have been here since Sunday.  She has not left her husband but she has just stayed because she wanted to spend extra time with her son after she gets off work.  Thats fine I really enjoy her being here and you know I love having the baby here.  Anyway she packed all here little everyday things up this morning and said she would be back Thursday afternoon.  I know that I should not voice my thoughts, I know that it is her decision but I wish she would leave him.  I know that she has already had one bad marriage (the crack addict) and she does not want another failed marriage but really the first one becasue of drugs and this one is because he has no patience and he is selvish totally wrapped up in what he wants and he gets what he wants too even if it makes her and baby do without.
All I can do is be here and try to give to the baby reassurance that I will be here.  He actually called the baby a piece of  sh*t.  He was angry but still you don't call a five yr old names.  I know that things like that can scar children.

Deb I am happy for you, and still praising God for sending wonderful answer to our prayers. I love know that no problem is too big for our God and no matter what it is *The Answer is Already on the Way*

Now as for my diet-------WHERE DID MY DIET GO-----I know it is here somewhere???Someone else has decided to drive my body while I slept and they got control of it an I decided that Ineeded to eat sweets. I proceeded to eat  and eat and eat.  Yesterday it was almost like I was in a sound proof room and I was screaming "stop you must stop or you will really go too far in that direction and you will have to fix it later"  But nothing I did could stop the out of control-ness of my desires for sweets I tried but the temporary desire for tastebud satisfaction overpowered my desire to eat healthy. Today is another day and I will try again.

Sometimes Iwish I could stick my fingers into my brain and rearrage things  -move this to the basement part of my brain -delete that memoriy, cover that window with a very thick curtain-put a padlock on that room.  Call in the house makeover people and have them just totally tear that part of my brain down and build me a new one.
But then I might lose the part of me that makes me who I am,

 God loves me "just as I am" He sees all the parts, I know that if He did not like something that I do- He would let me know in no uncertain terms that I need to  change.

 Thank you Lord for being a loving and caring father.  Thank you for letting me know that no matter what it is , no matter how many times I fail, you are there to help me back up to my feet. If I fail in a little thing or a big thing you are there with your hand out to help me.  Today I have another day, and thank you for this day, give me strength to do the very best that I can with this valuable gift. Amen

Text: Charlotte Elliott, 1789-1871
Music: William B. Bradbury, 1816-1868
Tune: WOODWORTH, Meter: LM

---

1. Just as I am, without one plea, 
 but that thy blood was shed for me, 
 and that thou bidst me come to thee, 
 O Lamb of God, I come, I come. 

2. Just as I am, and waiting not 
 to rid my soul of one dark blot, 
 to thee whose blood can cleanse each spot, 
 O Lamb of God, I come, I come. 

3. Just as I am, though tossed about 
 with many a conflict, many a doubt, 
 fightings and fears within, without, 
 O Lamb of God, I come, I come. 

4. Just as I am, poor, wretched, blind; 
 sight, riches, healing of the mind, 
 yea, all I need in thee to find, 
 O Lamb of God, I come, I come. 

5. Just as I am, thou wilt receive, 
 wilt welcome, pardon, cleanse, relieve; 
 because thy promise I believe, 
 O Lamb of God, I come, I come. 

6. Just as I am, thy love unknown 
 hath broken every barrier down; 
 now, to be thine, yea thine alone, 
 O Lamb of God, I come, I come. 

May each of us have a wonderful day in the Lord

God bless.