Friday, September 23, 2011

Here I am,

I have gotten up each day, determined to do better.  My resolve would melt like hot butter.

Yesterday dh took me out for an ealry supper and as I ate, (yummy chinese food) I took a long look at my life. 

I realized that I am not eating good and that I was slowly losing my energy.  Now I still exercised almost daily (I like the way I feel after I exercise) but my eating was slowly getting worse and worse.  I recently had the blood tests done and all my numbers are good.  Even the bone density tests show that I have the bones of a 20 yr. old.  Blood pressure and cholesterol is normal, no sign of diabetes. But those pounds are slowly creeping up. They are doing it so slowly that when I got on the scales this morning I was shocked to see that I gained 10 pounds in the last 4 months. You know I weigh regularly and I should have seen it , but I guess, each day that I weighed myself I kept my rose colored glasses on.

With my belly full of high calorie food last night I told dh that I could not keep this up.  I simply did not feel like myself,  I told him I could not do it alone, and even if he does not join me in eating better, for him to eat his junk food away from the house.  He agreed to this, and then we went to the brand new super  walmart and I bought a few diet meals and some of my favorite vegetable and fruits.   I have several boxes of low clorie high fiber cereal, and I like that for  a snack. 

I feel just the tiniest stirring of hope-hope that I have settled on something that will get me where I want to be. Hope that this time -(Please, God, Please) this time maybe just maybe--------


DO YOU NOT KNOW THAT YOUR BODY IS A TEMPLE OF THE HOLY SPIRIT, WHO IS IN YOU, WHOM YOU HAVE RECEIVED FROM GOD? YOU ARE NOT YOUR OWN, YOU WERE BOUGHT AT A PRICE.  THEREFORE HONOR GOD WITH YOUR BODY

(1 COR. 6:19-20)

Good night
God Bless

2 comments:

  1. I feel you, Joy. You're very aware of where you're at and where you want to go. Keep your faith, even if it's the size of a mustard seed! I'm praying for you and hoping you keep hoping. So glad you updated.

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  2. Oh, Joy, I could have written this post.

    I woke up today (at 2PM because I went to bed at 5AM) and the thought crossed my mind that I had slipped into old, undisciplined habits.

    Up all night, eating all night, sleeping late, messy house, messy diet. Before I got out of bed, I wondered to God just what I needed to do to turn this around."

    I realize that my decline into disorder is my reaction to the heartbreaking events of the summer (that continue), but I also know that I can't excuse this behavior. Not being able to control what is happening with my grandchildren doesn't mean that I have to abandon control over what is within my reach.

    Sigh. I type the words... It's the doing that evades me.

    Joy, I often pray for you when I pray for myself. God will prevail. Perhaps, today is the day.

    Deb

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