binge eating??????????????????????

I have been reading blogs off and on -just random blogs-about being overweight -blogs that talk about how and what and when -all blogs about eating and dieting and starving, and over indulging.  And with all of the reading I was doing I never once thought that I was a binge eater.  (kinda like I was binging on reading about eating-and binging) 

My idea of binging was a really out of control person that was eating uncontrollably, food in both hands, hoping no one knew,  wild hair and housecoat on and never opening the door because you were too busy eating.   always like that-----I have a confession to make-I looked up the word binging and low and behold I am a binge eater, and I do get dressed and I do open the door and my hair is 99% of the time neat.

Yesterday I asked dh to get me a pack of peanut butter m &ms.  I love them and I know there is nothing wrong with eating them but he came back  with a large party size bag of them.  I ate them until I felt sick.  Not that much in the whole bag deal,  dh had some too, I don't know how much he had.  I poured some in a small party size cup.  You know the kind that is clear and plastic and holds about 8 ounces of liquid (I know it holds that much cause I just went and measured it) I poured it about 3/4ths full and ate them all one at the time. Then I went back and got it about 1/2 full.  That was enough to make  my tummy hurt and and I felt like I was weak and tired.  Too much sugar---I had a sugar overload.  And I knew that too much sugar would make me feel that way but I did it anyway. Out of control eating??? I think so!

That is not the only thing I eat like that -at one time or another I have eaten all sorts of food at one sitting untill I felt sick.   I have eaten ----oh well I won't go into detail but as I sit here typing I am thinking of the times that I would eat peanut butter with honey or bananas with honey and that woulds ok but really 5 or 6 of them?

So now that I have the information --now that I have another label/name to add to my list of other labels and name that I call myself-what am I going to do with this new information????  I will read some more, I will try to find out what when where I can do to help me.   I have always felt that you can not make wise choices if you do not have all the information..


I wish I could stop saying "I hate my life"

Well maybe I don't hate my life- maybe I hate the feeling of being emotionally crippled.  But wait-I love my husband and I love my children/grandchildren, and I love my God and I love going to church, and I love my friends, and I love holding hands and seeing my garden produce because I got out and planted, and weeded and and wartered it.  And I love the fresh tomatoes and cucumbers and okra thast is coming off and I LOVE MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!  So there it is---I have a minor flaw,  but I can work on fixing it, IT IS NOT HOPELESS.


It is 7:30 am Sunday morning and i am going to church.  The information  absorbing will have to wait. After church this morning, dh and I have been invited to a singing that starts at 2:30  after that dd is bringing grandson over to me for the week.  

He has been playing Final fantasy 7 the playstation1 that my kids left behind.   That is really helping his reading.  He prononces correctlu and comprehends on a 3 or 4th grade level.  We spend at least an hour 4 days a week doing math and reading and writing, and last week I started doing some subtraction and he caught on to that quickly.  We also started doing some simple science projects and he gets excited about seeing things like the vinegar and baking soda.   I am glad he thinks of learning like a game.

Have a wonderful day everyone
God bless